


Lancer’s False War

by Lady_Rhey



Series: Tale of Two Worlds [3]
Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2019-11-18 11:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18120131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Rhey/pseuds/Lady_Rhey
Summary: Empty Spaces by Murellihttps://youtu.be/gQvHtXWlXDE





	1. Star Crossed Lovers

Note: this story's title may change.  Something about all of it is giving me a hard time and I can't put my finger on it.

 

This story goes out to [yuutao](https://www.wattpad.com/user/yuutao) whose story The Hound's Moon on Wattpad was the main inspiration, to [SkadiScathach](https://www.wattpad.com/user/SkadiScathach) on Wattpad for her support since jump street and all my other #TeamCú lovers!

————————————————-

 

It is said throughout history, that if a spirits wish is strong enough they, and their wish, are given tangible life and a single chance to execute their wish.  This theory remained true with the appearance of Heroic Spirits.  The difference, or should we say reality, of being a heroic spirit is though you are given "your chance", your chances never end, placing you in a celestial purgatory where you relive the failure of your wish over and over through many lives and variants until you win, are "set free" or are left unsummoned.

 

The spirit that was Cú had been through many such lives, to the point where he had created 4 different versions of himself by rewriting the path of his greatest desire over and over while continuing to fail. 

 

The failures cut him deeply, but he had almost gained success as Caster so it hadn't all been for naught.  Sadly, that was the only time in ....maybe hundreds of years? 

 

Yet he swore over and over to stay true to himself, true to his loyalties and true to his pride....... but his will was breaking.

 

As his blue spirit essence floated in the aether of the Holy Grail's before time, he thought about his reasons for fighting.  What had started as a need to fight a worthy opponent was soon replaced with a vengeance that would cost him his life continually.  Vengeance against his Masters deaths, vengeance against his losses in battle, and eventually vengeance against his own failure to see past his superficial desires and end this cycle of disappointment.

 

Tired......so.....tired.If only.....

 

——————————————-

 

At the same time in a different timeline on a different planet that didn't believe in wishes or selfless acts of self sacrifice, a woman leaned back in her gaming chair and sighed heavily. 

 

"I can't grind anymore Army of the Light rep for these damn lightforged Drenai.I need a break."

 

Scrolling her mouse to the left so it appeared on the left of three monitors attached to her Alienware Aurora R7 desktop, she skipped a few songs on Pandorauntil she found one she liked.Placing her foot on the edge of her desk, she tilted the chair back and turned up the volume on her Astro A10 Legend Of Zelda gaming headset up. 

 

Lately she found herself drowning her loneliness more and more into WOW and FGO mobile.Games made her forget that men were inadequate, reality sucked and her dreams would never come true. 

 

When the current song ended, she grabbed her phone and opened Pinterest before scanning through pictures of Cú.Everything about the man was hot.His teasing personality, his incredible body, his skill with his lance, his mannerisms....she sighed heavily. 

 

No man like that existed.....and even if they did they wouldn't want anything to do with her.If only......

 

It was at this moment that the tides of fate captured the same wish being spoken from two sets of lips and chose to bring them together.

 

"If only I could do it all over again with the knowledge and skills I have right now.Then, and only then, would I be able to make the choices and live the life I should have."

 

When the last word left his mouth, Cú was enveloped in the white light that always appears before a summons. When the light vanished, he was in the middle of a city park at night. 

 

"Your chance has been granted Child of Light, but not everything is as it seems.The conditions of this war are simple.Find the grail, protect it with your life and fulfill your Masters wish.Should you lose, the Master die, or the grail and Master be in the possession of another Servant, your life and your soul will be forfeit."

 

"And where is my Master?"

 

"They are close by.  What you seek is always in the first place you would expect it and the last place you wish to look.It is the embodiment of your fears and the greatest challenge to obtain.Look only as far as you can see and you shall find them."

 

"Great.  Well I always did love a challenge."

 

"One last thing.  The Servants you face are here to make sure you don't fulfill your wish.You and all the others are sustained, not by independent Masters but by both the grail and your potential Master as they are intimately tied.Do not lose hope."

 

Then the voice is gone and Cú scans the city before him.  "Where do I even start?"  Sighing he decides to get a better vantage point.  Effortlessly jumping to the nearest roof, he bounds across the city with the only thing guiding him a faint tug at his heart. 

 

————————————-

 

Meanwhile........

 

"Looking at Pinterest is bad for my heart." 

 

Getting up, my earbuds still

in, I grab my phone before I head to the kitchen.  Wanting to taste my sorrow and depression, I go to the the freezer and pull out my Americone Dream while

scanning Pandora.  Grabbing a spoon, I proceed to devour the last half

of the pint shamelessly.  When it is gone, I rinse the container and toss it in the recycling bin before going out on my top floor balcony/terrace.

 

Dressed in a rather short nightshirt that barely covers my ass, I lean against the railing.As I gaze out at the city, a shiver runs down my spine and I can't help looking back over my shoulder with a critical glare. 

 

Though I see nothing, I can't help feeling something is out there, or at least different.Sighing, I close my eyes and face the city as Star Crossed by 3LAU comes on and I begin to sing softly.

 

"It's not enough

To lay your head down on my chest

And talk about our future like we'd ever had a chance

Baby, there's no room to grow

We gotta let this go

Back away slow

 

We're not star crossed lovers

Falling over each other

We're not star crossed lovers

Don't tell me that it feels like love

When it's not

Don't tell me that it feels like love

Falling over

Don't tell me that it feels like love

We're not star crossed lovers

Falling over

Don't tell me that it feels like love

'Cause we're not star crossed lovers"

 

Then an uncharacteristic breeze captures my hair and I turn to face its source....

 

......which is also the embodiment of my greatest desire and deepest sadness.

 

———————————————

 

Though the tug had been gettingstronger, Cú felt that he wasn't gaining any ground regarding his Master's exact location.This was definitely NOT his standard Grail War, though in all honesty nothing about the Grail War was standard.The whole concept was barbaric and once he won.....

 

Cú stopped dead in his tracks and listened.Though he couldn't make out the words, there was a voice calling to him from somewhere.......

 

Slowly scanning the panoramic view in front of him, he found the direction the voice was coming from.Straining to make sure he wasn't hearing things, he began to notice a change in the flow of magic when he stood facing the direction the voice seemed to be coming from. 

 

It was as if the voice was dragging him

to it, but for what he wasn't sure.The closer he got as he bounded across the darkened city sparkling with artificial light, the more intense his need to reach his destination was. 

 

The need to be around his Masters had always been there, but it was more of a nagging sensation than a longing to be with them.It allowed him to know where they were at all times, but it didn't drive him to their side even when it wasn't necessary.

 

If his Master wasn't the one pulling him to them, then he could be headed into an ambush. 

 

———————————-

 

Red eyes stared at her through the darkness before a man stepped out of the shadows. 

 

"You hardly seem like an ambush.  More like a cute diversion, though I must admit your voice holds a power over me the likes of which I have never encountered."

 

My eyes went wide and before I knew it, I was blushing in embarrassment as my lips spoke the last words I wanted to say."Mo grá?"

 

Slapping my hand over my mouth I turn and look out at the city mortified, thinking I must be hallucinating. 

 

"O-ho What was that?I haven't even really tried to charm you yet.Seems I won't have to."

 

I can hear the shitty smile on his lips as I turn on him with half hearted venom."You are mistaken.I took you for someone else.I am not so desperate to fall for a figment of my imagination."

 

He raises an eyebrow."Figment aye?Shall I prove to you just how real this is?"Then he strides up to me so he can stand a fraction of a breath away from me before he tucks my unruly hair behind my ears causing my body to start shaking from anticipation and anxiety. 

 

"I take it you know who I am?"

 

"How could I not?You have an entire fan base of girls both young and old in this world." I turn to try to escape but am literally walled in between his stationary body and the wall of the terrace.

 

"Is that so?Well the only one I'm interested in right now is standing right in front of me."A devilish smile crosses his lips as he leans down, bringing his face inches from mine. 

 

"I don't do latex jumpsuits."I run my finger across his shoulder as if I'm looking for filth on a dresser, giving an unamused look when it careens off the ball of his shoulder. "Your Alter self is way hotter."I tilt my head and give that 'go fuck yourself jerk' look which causes him to balk giving me the perfect opportunity to scoot around him and head back for the door.

 

"Unnecessarily harsh don't you think?" 

 

I can hear the pout in his voice and bite my lip, grateful my back is turned."Not really.It's not like you are here for me anyway so why don't you go find your Master and leave this poor innocent girl alone."

 

"Hate to break it to you, but the desire to find my Master ended when I found you so.....how bout I stick around a while....just to make sure."

 

I turn before opening the door to see his arms resting on the lance held vertically across his broad shoulders as he half smiles at me and winks.

 

"You're insufferable.Just.....don't make a mess or invade my space.It's not like you need me to survive so I won't have to go out of my way to tend to you."

 

"How kind of you."

 

"Just make sure to leave as soon as you find your Master.You being here......is a problem."Then I walk inside and close the door as Cú raises an eyebrow and watches me curiously.

 

"A problem you say?Clearly not the bad kind seeing as your vitals are all over the place.Accept it or not, you are definitely why I'm here.I can sense the mana surrounding you as it calls to me."Then he sighs and heads inside."Guess I got my work cut out for me this time."


	2. Is There A Morning After Pill For This?

The next morning I awoke to a quiet room as always.  It took me a moment to process this shouldn't be a normal thing now....on the assumption last night really happened.  Flipping to my back as I rested the back of my hand against my forehead, I replayed the events from last night. 

 

After I had come inside, I had headed straight for my room.  When I got there, I stood in the doorway and, without looking back, said, "Don't even fucking think about coming in here or I'll stab you with that damn lance myself and sell it to the highest fan girl."  Then I slammed the door, stripped naked and hid under the covers. 

 

I had no idea if he was actually still out there or if he ever really WAS there.  Hear no evil, see no evil.  If I didn't see it it didn't happen.  Though I didn't feel like finding out, I needed food and coffee so sighing heavily, I got up and threw a robe on tying it loosely. 

 

Opening the door quietly, I peeked out.  When I didn't see him, I sighed and tip toed to the wall in the living room.  Peeking around the corner and still not seeing him I sighed, trying not to admit that made me a little sad. 

 

"Guess even if he was real, he realized sticking around wasn't worth it or he ended up finding his Master."

 

Looking around the room one final time, I untied the robe and left it open.  I hated being dressed at home.No one came unannounced so the only threat on my "chastity" was telescope perverts across the street. 

 

Moving to the kitchen, I made a cup of coffee and turned on Pandora on the TV in the living room using the remote in the kitchen (yeah I'm lazy I have universal remotes everywhere).As it brewed, I threw together a scramble and washed the pan before putting it in the dishwasher.Taking my favorite "Don't be a Hippotwatimous" mug out of the cupboard, I made a cup before heading to the couch and sitting down, resting both arms along the back as I waited for my coffee that was resting on the couch in my left hand to cool. 

 

Not caring that my robe had fallen to each side of my body providing a complete full monty, I relaxed to the music as I crossed my left leg over my right. 

 

What the fuck was that last night?It about gave me a heart attack.Nothing like that is real let alone .....

 

Then I jump, startled at the sound of a knock on the sliding glass door leading to the terrace causing me to spill my still hot coffee on my hand.Spewing numerous curse words and quickly placing my cup on the table in front of me, I wipe my hand on my robe as I yank it shut and look to see who would be out there since the only way in.......

 

My head turns and to my horror I see the perfect from head to toe backside of Lancer as he leans against the glass facing away from me, yet buffering me from prying eyes outside, his lance propped against his shoulder as one arm draped over it casually while the other rubs the back of his head.

 

There is no way he could have guesstimated where to lean so no one could see me (not that telescopes reaches this far into my abode) unless he himself had seen me and if he had seen me, he had seen......

 

I have never wanted to turn back the clock so badly in my life, but there was no morning after pill for non sexual embarrassment. 

 

Mortified and angry, I stand up and storm outside ready to give him hell about common decency and his lack there of.

 

——————————————

 

When I was sure she was asleep last night based on the decline in her magic signature, I went out and surveyed the area.The only defense she had was she lived in a densely populated area so no Servant would start a fight here.They could, however, still capture her and take her either to the more rural area North of town or to any of the parks IN town that were within a few minutes.As long as I stayed with her, she would be fine. 

 

Stayed with her.......was I even really sure SHE was who I was supposed to protect?Last night on the roof when the music stopped and with it, the call of the one who should be my Master, I had been surprised to see a woman with no innate magic of her own. 

 

Scanning her body for the usual magic circuits, I found not a single one.What I did find was a void that sat at her clavicle, but created no wound or other detriment to her person.Within that void, her magic signature sat.It was as if she had been imbued with a magic her body was not meant or was unable to harness so it sat dormant closest to her heart.As I continued to take stock of my surroundings I made a note to check the area casually so as not to make her think I had ulterior motives.

 

Though it was not my fault, I had failed at tactfully checking the moment I got back and found her lounging on the couch......almost completely naked. 

 

I hadn't seen her at first when I landed silently on the terrace.Truthfully, I wasn't even sure she was awake so I had planned to enter silently and make her something to eat, since she seemed to have some incorrect perceptions of me. 

 

When I was seconds away from touching the handle to slide the door open and enter, I saw the delicate slope of her neck as it lead down to two ample breasts of average size.As my eyes traveled farther of their own volition, they drank in the smooth slope of her torso as it lead down to.....that's when she crossed her legs and I bit my lip turning and placing my back to the glass door. 

 

"What the fuck do I do now?"I think to myself as I fight to get my body under control.I know I can't wait too long before getting her attention or I will lose any modicum of decency I can salvage.Of all the times to be a gentleman.....

 

Sometimes I hated how considerate I was towards the well-being of women, especially since I had such poor luck with them.If it had been Caster or god forbid Alter....I growled at the though remembering your comment last night about how you thought he was hotter.How could that beast be hotter?He was all brawn and no brains or emotion. 

 

Sighing heavily, I reached my hand back and tapped the knuckle of my right hand against the glass and winced at the string of curses I heard knowing I wasn't going to get off easy. 

 

——————————————

 

Sliding the door open so hard I swore it shoulda broken, I march to stand in front of Cú who has his head bent down slightly and eyes closed. 

 

"What....THE FUCK.....are you doing out here gawking at me in my state of undress!You were supposed to be the gentleman between the four of you and yet here you are....!"

 

Then the tip of his spear points at my nose causing my mouth to shut and my eyes to go wide.

 

Opening his eyes to look piercingly at me he says, "Let's get one thing straight.I'm not here to gawk at you, hell I had no intention of even seeing you like this at all when I came back from scouting the area to make sure there were no immediate threats.Without a mind link, there was no way to notify you I was back so the fault is on you."

 

I glare at him, but there is no strength behind it as I find myself caving to his intense red eyes.Huffing, I tilt my head down and to the side as I cross my arms over my chest. 

 

As my breasts are pressed together and up, his eyes are drawn down to them....or more accurately to the silver chain around my neck that houses an odd shape.As he stares, not noticing my discomfort at the perceived object of his interest, he senses rather than sees an aura (similar to the cloud that had been around Saber's Excalibur) around the object that is much larger than the visible piece. 

 

"I thought you weren't interested in my body you pervert."I say with embarrassment and anger.

 

"I'm not." He says matter of factly, earning him a kick to the shin that almost causes him to stab me in the shoulder with his spear as he responds awkwardly to the assault. 

 

"What the hell was that for?!"He snapped.

 

"It's one thing to say you weren't looking it's another to say you aren't interested as if I'm some ugly hag!"I snap back.

 

"Jesus that's not what I meant!"

 

Then I blush and pout as he too blushes and sighs trying to look somewhere else.

 

"For your information, I was looking at that pendant around your neck.What is it?I sense a very strong magic signature coming from it."

 

My embarrassment forgotten, I look down as I take the pendant in between my thumb and pointer finger. "This?It's a crusaders cross.I'm a huge European history buff and fell in love with it when I traveled to Europe for class." (See header image)

 

"That's a cross?Interesting.That's not what I see.Well at least not physically anyway.All I see is a weird pointy nub and then the rest is blurry."

 

Without thinking, he reaches out and touches the piece he can see, which would have earned him a slap across the face (my hand was halfway there) but the moment his finger touched it, blue light emerged.Yanking his finger back, he sees the rune for protection carved into the place where his finger touched. 

 

"What the hell did you do?" I try to back away but hit the glass door instead. 

 

He looks at me and then smirks."Told you you were my Master.Believe me now?"

 

As I hear his voice in my mind, I slap the hand meant for his face over my mouth as I slide down the glass door.When my ass hits the concrete floor, tears start falling from my eyes. 

 

This is either the best dream or the worst nightmare I have ever had.I think to myself....or so I thought.

 

"Why don't we shoot for the first one.I promise to be a gentleman from here on out, long as you don't shut me out."He gives a toothy grin as he kneels in front of me."Just don't cry.I can't stand it when girls cry."

 

"Heh."I say with a half crazed smile."Well I don't think I can stand being with you so we will have to agree to disagree."

 

Why isn't there a morning after pill for things like this?


	3. When Push Comes To Shove

"No relationship should start with a disagreement, especially when their personality is as charming as yours."  He stands up before dematerializing his spear and offering me his hand.

 

I give him one of those head cocked, squinty eyed "ha ha you're so cute" looks before my eyes fall to his hand. 

 

His fingers are so delicate and long, yet I envision the power held within their grip as they grasp fiercely, passionately, onto anything they touch.  If I take his hand...

 

I catch the flush racing across my body too late as my mind begins to spawn its darkest fantasies left for late nights and intimate interludes.

 

"Are you alright?  Do you need a minute?"

 

I tighten my lips and scowl.  "I'm fine, just got a little....side tracked."  I quickly grasp his hand, but don't do myself any favors when I push myself up at the same time he tries to be a gentleman and pull me up causing me to crash against his body as he takes a step back to absorb my momentum. 

 

"The defenseless lady routine huh?"  He smirks down at me as my partially exposed body presses into the solid ripples of his well defined torso, molding the flesh like clay and permanently imprinting his masculinity into the depths of my consciousness.  "Who knew you had it in you with all that fire and sass you put out."

 

My mind is a conflict of emotions as my body wants to run my hands over every succulent inch of his over confident, hyper sexualized frame while my brain wants to slap him across the face and throw up every shield it's got just to protect me from the inevitable loss this road will lead to. 

 

Somehow my brain wins out.  Yanking my hand from his, I push off from his chest with the other, biting my lip as I feel the solid security and steady heartbeat beneath it that will easily entrap my very existence should it be allowed to. 

 

"Fuck off."  I snap as I yank my robe closed even more and turn to walk into the house.  "It'll be a cold day in hell before I submit to your womanizing flirtations.  I doubt there is a genuine romantic bone in your body."  Then I open the door and step inside, not turning around as I close it. 

 

The more distance between us the better.  See no evil, that's what has to happen.  The less I see of him the better.  Then I can keep telling myself this is all a dream.

 

But no dream felt as calm as a winter snowfall, as breathtaking as a cliff side sunset over a valley as mist rolled lazily over the fields, or as roaringly intense as waves crashing over the rocks the way being pressed against his chest had. 

 

I could still feel the pressure of him against me as his free hand rested on my lower back.  Shutting my eyes tightly, I willed my mind to calm.  Nothing ventured nothing gained hmmm?  Well that venture lead down a path of broken souls and heartbreaking realities so .....no thanks.  I'd had enough heartache in my life, I didn't need to open old wounds and foster new ones.  

 

When my vision became less...clouded, I walked into my room and shut the door.  Now I had to get dressed and figure out just how all this fit together.  At least until it didn't.

 

____________________________

 

From what little I knew, I could tell she was desperately independent.  So what harm was there in giving her a little push?  I could feel the richness of her emotional signature via our link and knew there wasn't all bluster and hate rolling around behind her facade of aloofness.  

 

Offering my hand was a neutral gesture of good faith....pulling her up, was not.  True, I had used barely any force since I knew she would probably just use my hand as a brace as she pushed herself up, but I was pleasantly supersized by how much of a hand full she was.  I couldn't deny being attracted to her, hell there were few women I wasn't attracted to at first glance.  I loved all women to varying degrees, but this one.....this one was sharp at the same time her body was a unique mixture of pliant, voluptuous, and lithe.  As my hand traveled down the bow of her back, I felt the supple tension of her muscle as it constricted and released against me.  Resisting the urge to clasp her to me and bury my face in her neck after whispering in her ear, I said the only thing I knew would rile her further.  I wanted to feel her squirm against me, even if it wasn't sexual.

 

"The defenseless lady routine huh?  Who knew you had it in you with all that fire and sass you put out."

 

Here eyes said it all.  Her pupils went large before constricting as her soft pink lips turned into a scowl.  She wanted me and was refusing to acknowledge it.  Smirking at her before letting her go, thinking it was her desire to leave not mine to let her walk away, I knew this would be a battle of wills.  

 

I also knew I wanted to protect this feeling, this raw unbridled tension, this false war of wills no matter the cost.  And if it cost me my life?  There had been worse women to lose my life to, worse wars as well.  She was worth fighting for and if love never entered the picture, then I truly was the worst when it came to love AND war.

 

Turning to look back at the city I sighed.  How many times had a lived a life I wasn't proud of.  How many times had I given and taken a life that didn't diverse it's fate?  How many moons, how many suns, how many days, and how many dreams had I lived and died for without ever feeling what I did now?  What purpose had it all served?  Then my father's voice resonated in my head.

 

 

"Do you love your wife Satanta?"

 

"Of course I do.  She is a wonderful woman.  She is strong and trustworthy and loyal.  How could I not?"

 

"Then let me ask you.....are you IN LOVE with our wife?"

 

"There is a difference?"

 

"As profound a difference as there is between a child and a man.  You will never know true power until you have been in love with a woman, because a man in love with a woman fights not for himself but for the world he can provide her, the love he wishes to give her, and the destiny he wishes to have outshine her.  If you are not in love with your wife, you will never win the war against yourself because you will never give so completely of yourself  that there is nothing left to take."

 

With mouth slightly open in shock that such a memory would strike me now, I turn towards your door and stare.  Closed or not, I can sense you there, sense your frustration.  What had brought us together and what would try to tear us apart?  As of yet there had been no sign that a Grail War was pending.  No other Servants had manifested and no magic had gone unchecked.  So what exactly were we fighting?

 

Then the door opened and I caught your eye, smiling that devilishly disarming smile I was known for.

 

 

"What are you a telescope perv now stalking my door to catch a peek?  Why don't you try being useful or find something to do that doesn't involve being creepy."

 

The blush on your face was cute.  It was something I wanted to cherish.  No matter why we were here, I would protect you just like the rune on your necklace.  We would face the trials together because when push came to shove you liked me and I.....I was gonna lose more than my life to you I feared.


	4. Chapter 4

    Close (ft Oly): 3lau

[Verse 1: Oly]

I'm not fragile if you push me hard

I've weathered every storm so far

But I'm tired of always being the strong one

Be my shelter, be my heart

 

[Pre-Chorus: Oly]

I could add an edge to what you've got going

I should get going while it's still night

But there's something about this time that I'm enjoying

Yeah, I'm enjoying being by your side

 

                        [Chorus: Oly]

               I wanna stay close to you

                   It's all I need to do

           Cause when I stay close to you

             There's nothing we can't do

               I wanna stay close to you

                    Oh, close to you

                    Oh, close to you

         You always get me through so I

 

[Verse 2: Oly]

I feel the pressure as they're closing in

I know that I can't win alone

And I'm tired of always being the strong one

Be my shelter, be my home

_________________________

 

I dressed quickly in a midnight blue peekaboo sleeve cotton tunic that still showed some of my curves and matching skin tight leggings, since about the only thing I was happy with were my legs and ass. 

 

Putting my hair in a pony tail to keep it out of my face while still allowing it to cascade down my chest and enhance the elegant lines of my neck, I took one last look in the mirror and sighed.Wasn't gonna get any better than this without makeup so fuck that. 

 

Walking out of the room as casual as I could, I headed to the kitchen to make a cup of tea while valiantly succeeding at not looking for or at Cú once. 

 

Grabbing the kettle, a tea bag, and a cup, I filled the kettle from the water tank and set it to heat.Making sure to turn my back to the living room, choosing to lean on the island behind me, I set the cup with the bag in it to my left and started playing with the length of my hair with my right as I pretended to vapidly zone out. 

 

Of course anything but the truth, my mind hadn't stopped racing since we separated and it took a force of will to not clench and release my fist in an attempt to erase the feel of his chest from my hand.He had been everything ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I had imagined and my body cried out from withdrawal just from the briefest of contact. 

 

Frowning as I yanked at my hair, twisting it around my palm twice before resting the fist against my head, I closed my eyes and thought how idiotic I was being.He was here to win the grail and if he did, he would get his wish and be gone.I couldn't let myself get wrapped up in childish emotions. 

 

Sighing out of my nose, I released my hair as the kettle whined that it was ready.As I opened my eyes and went to reach for it, I saw Cú's body facing mine as his hand rested next to my hip close enough to touch me if he wanted as he grabbed the kettle before turning to face me and pouring the water in the cup.

 

He was close.Dangerously close.I stared at the kettle as I watched his body out of my peripheral, trying to keep my breathing calm.Why was it taking so long to pour?

 

When the cup was full, he looked at me with playful eyes and said, "Blue suits you.It matches your eyes, which remind me so much of the skies at home in my time."

 

The compliment caught me off guard and my eyes turned towards his which almost

proved fatal.  The look in his eyes was so soft and kind, yet also sensual.  I could feel my body shifting towards him as the urge to curl up against his chest began to overwhelm me.

 

Somehow I regained enough composure to tear my eyes from his with a slow bat as they turn to look at my cup before picking it up carelessly in an attempt to gather my thoughts while I bring the cup slowly to my lips.

 

I can sense him watching me with interest, as if he could sense the rebuttal on my tongue. 

 

"Pretty words for a pretty shallow man.  Nice try Casanova, but I know blues my color."  Then I take another sip as I face him and eye him up and down.  "Shame it's not yours.  It clashes with your eyes."    Then I press my fingertips to his chest and push gently signaling my intent to move past him. 

 

Except he doesn't move and I find myself  yet again compromisingly close as his arms cage me in and our noses are inches from touching. 

 

I do not know from what recesses of my being I manage to pull a pair of balls out of in cases like this but somehow I managed to say with a straight face, "Is there a particular reason you insist on holding me hostage or are you just attempting to assert some of the dominance I find so endearing in Alter?"Then I smirk and take another sip as I give him a challenging look. 

 

When all he does is grip the table before backing away with a blank look on his face, I begin to wonder if I took it too far. 

 

—————————————

 

"A great woman will challenge you Satanta, forcing you to be a better man.Forcing you to live up to higher ideals of yourself for yourself.She will test your boundaries and your will, but it is only because she is afraid of what it costs to lose to you should you fail to meet your true potential as a man, a lover, or a husband."

 

As my fathers words yet again raced across my mind, I gripped the side of the island on either side of the infuriating woman in front of me.

 

Sighing in frustration, I step back even though all I want is to feel her heart beat against my chest once again as her breath dances along my skin. 

 

I had meant what I said, meant it from the depths of my soul.Her eyes were the color of the sky on the clearest day of summer and the coldest day of winter.As I looked in them standing before her, I felt himself get lost into a depth I never wanted to return from. 

 

But yet again she shunned me, reminding me my sentiments were mine and mine alone.So how was I to build trust, how could I win the war if I couldn't even win the trust of the person I was sworn to protect?

 

"I would never force anyone, especially a woman, to do anything against their will.  If I am truly not what you want, then I will do only what I was summoned for and leave the rest to you."  Then I turn and head towards the door, making it as far as my hand on the handle before she tugs at my heart.

 

"Cú?"  She asks as her voice waivers, something I can tell bothers her even without turning around.

 

I stop but don't look back or turn around. 

 

"Cú please.  Please don't go.  That isn't really what I want.  I'm just.....not sure how to deal with all of this and pushing you away....keeping you at a distance....it all seems safer in the long run don't you think?  No hurt feelings that way."

 

"...she is afraid of what it costs to lose to you should you fail to meet your true potential as a man, a lover, or a husband."

 

Still not turning to face her I scan her vitals and see the truth of my fathers statement.  There is fear.....an immeasurable fear.  Though it's origin I cannot place, it's weight carries a sadness I know all to well. 

 

It is a fear of loss, of broken things, of lonely nights, of shattered dreams, of damaged pride and abandoned love.  A fear that tears at the soul at the same time it builds walls to shut those very things out. 

 

What is love without hate?

What is life without death?

What is loss without attainment?

What is a home without a soul inside?

 

With a fierceness I had not intended, I turn and stride purposefully towards her.  My jaw is set and my eyes sharp, yet filled with unfulfilled regret.  As I come upon her startled figure, I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me as my head cradles against hers and my lips  rests in the crease of her shoulder and neck. 

 

Before she can protest, I squeeze her tightly and whisper against her skin, "I promise to protect you for as long as I draw breath from the fear you hold inside.  I will never hurt you or leave you unless death follows.  You are my purpose, my light.I may not be what you want but let me try to be everything you need."

 

————————————

 

It feels like an eternity passes as my body tries to process this strange and unexpected turn of events. 

 

Everything I need.Everything......I need.

 

I am at a turning point.An emotional fork.Do I let myself go? Or do I protect myself and stay?

 

In all honesty I'm tired.So very tired.

 

Pulling back slightly to look at him with ready eyes, I call his name."Cú?"

 

It is a question whose answer is life itself. 

 

His eyes lock on mines as his linked arms slide down my back to rest at my hips."Yes?"

 

"I'm scared to have you fill this home.....fill my heart and then disappear leaving my soul empty.If you can't promise you will stay, you can't give me what I need."

 

Then he presses his forehead to mine."And if I could?What would you need in return?"

 

"A place we could call home..." then I touch his lips with my finger ".....and all of you."


	5. Chapter 5

All my life I had tried to do what was right, but as I stood there as she told me what she would need, I no longer knew what that meant.  All I had known was the struggle and eventual loss.  Never had I felt a sense of accomplishment for either achieving the grail or for overcoming my own personal pitfalls, something I had always regretted after loosing to Hassan of the Cursed Arm.  

 

Lost in my own insecurity, I had no encouraging words, no disarming smile.All I had was a heart similarly broken and a life living a parallel limbo waiting for redemption, two things I knew wouldn't be enough to hold her. 

 

Though I tried to convey everything I felt in that moment as my eyes searched her ocean blue depths, I could see her heart shatter like glass as her lip quirked in a faint smile.

 

"You can't promise......and I knew that.That's why it's better this way.Better if we don't go down this road, better if we never even thought this road existed."

 

I can feel my soul scream as her body begins to pull from mine and I am filled with an irrational fear, knowing if she leaves now....if I can't gain her trust now....I have lost before anything even began.As the last shred of cloth almost slips out of reach, I jerk forward and grab her turning her around so her back is against my chest, my arms across hers and my lips pressed desperately to her ear.

 

"And where do you think you are going?Can a man not collect his thoughts before a woman goes running off the deep end?"I can feel her heart race as my soft words and the gentle touch of my lips against the rim of her ear stir emotions not entirely wholesome."Most promises are empty kitten.What I offer goes beyond promises, speaking directly to your core."  Then I turn her slowly to face me as I take her necklace and guide her neck down with a gentle tug of her chain as I kneel before kissing her cross. 

 

"I promised you my protection, which is nothing to take lightly.  I do not give my spear to anyone casually as I fight for my own beliefs while holding my loyalties to myself dear.  In protecting you I have bound my soul and my very life to you."  Then I rise and place the cross gently against her clavicle.  "I do not know what has drawn us together, but I do know that I will not leave willingly.  So why don't we cut the crap and just accept that you are stuck with me hmmm?"  Then I lift a hand and tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear making her face turn an attractive shade of red as her eyes lock onto my hand as if afraid it would steal her very will.

 

As my finger leaves the curve of her ear, her eyes close and she takes a deep breath.  Moments pass in fractions of seconds before her eyes open to a resolve I have seen only during the most brutal of wars. 

 

"Fine.  If you must test my patience, then I accept your presence.  Just know this."  Her finger, like my spear before, is now pointed at my face leaving me no choice but to shut up and listen.  "I will not tolerate ANY abuse of my person.  Do I make myself clear?"

 

"Crystal."  I say before locking my eyes on hers with a slight mischief in them. 

 

"I am warning you.  DO NOT!"  Her lips gets tight and her eyes sharp and I laugh as I raise my hands.

 

"I yield!"

 

Then she raises an eyebrow skeptically, before dropping her hand.  "Fine.  With that settled, I think we should take a look around the city and see what we can find out about this war we seem to be fighting.

 

_______________________________

 

"Remind me again why we are here?" Cú asks in my mind as we enter a department store that sells fashionable men's clothes.

 

"Because a real man escorts a lady that's why, unless you wanna stay a little bitch that hides in the shadows." I retort.

 

Effectively shutting him up momentarily so I can concentrate, I begin wandering the racks of clothing before I catch the attention of an associate.  "May I help you miss?"

 

"No I'm good.  I did this for years.  I know exactly what I'm looking for.  Thank you though."

 

"And what exactly is that?  Don't think just because you are cute and I happen to like that sharp little tongue of yours you can dress me up like some doll."

 

"Shut up and let me concentrate."  I say as I begin to blush.

 

Imagine my surprise when he does exactly that.  Regrettably he is so quiet, I begin to have an inner monologue I don't realize I am sharing. 

 

Alright soooooo.....about 6", evenly split between long leg and long torso, well sculpted so tighter shirts will work and not inhibit mobility should he need to suddenly be active......we could do a looser straight leg jean so it doesn't fall off his ass, but there has to be some spandex in them in case movement is necessary.......steel toe boots....looks about an 11 or 12....

 

Then my mind jumps like it does to thinking the size of his shoe matches the size of what's between his legs and I clear my throat before shaking my head and resuming my search.

 

I keep searching the racks and eventually acquire a black set of boots, black skinny jeans, white cotton shirt and blue and white track jacket with a dual grommet black leather belt.

 

With as much stealth as I can manage, I sneak into the men's fitting room and leave the things on the bench before calling his name.  

 

"You rang?" He said with a smirk far more devious than necessary as if he knew some joke I wasn't privy to. 

 

Raising an eyebrow at him I say, "Try those on.I'll be outside should you need me."I turn to leave but he calls to me.

 

"I don't supposed you can look at something first could you?"I can hear the smirk in his voice and roll my eyes before turning to see him half naked from the waist up causing my internal temperature to spike and my eyes to go wide as I bite my lip.

 

"As well sculpted as you anticipated?" He asks as I stand frozen in place with my jaw slightly open as my eyes watch him bend over and grab the shirt before slowly.....ever...so.....slowly pulling it on.Giving it a final tug, he turns his head to look in the mirror."Guess you got a good eye."Then he turns and faces me smirking again."Shall we see if the pants fit too?"

 

I make a high pitched startled hum as I shut my eyes and turn abruptly before marching out of the fitting room.

 

"Awww don't be like that!It was quite flattering to hear actually."

 

"STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"I yell at him in embarrassment.

 

"No promises remember?"  He chides and I growl in frustration.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Somehow we make it out of there without him killing me in the process.  Not sure how, but stranger things have happened.

 

"Where to next?"  He asks as he tries to lean down and whisper in my ear, which causes me to balk and stare at him like he has contracted the plague.

 

"I'm beginning to think I was better off without you out in the open."  I grumble and he just flashes that intolerably cute smile.

 

"Don't say that you know you want me around."

 

I roll my eyes and pretend like he didn't say anything.  Opting to change subjects instead.  "The way I see it, all we can do is wander the city and see what we can find if you don't sense any magic signatures then we have nothing to go off of."

 

"Seems as good a start as any."  He responds without skipping a beat.  

 

From that point on, we walk in silence.  Though normally awkward, the silence between us seems comforting rather than restrictive as if it symbolizes a bond that runs deeper than words or feelings.  As I think on that, a slight smile crosses my lips which meets with a sudden opinion by the man I was desperately trying not to ogle out of the corner of my eye.  

 

"Thinking about me again in that fitting room?"

 

I turn and slap him with the back of my hand in the stomach.....or at least try to, but he grabs my wrist gently before bringing the back of my hand to his lips to kiss.  "Long as whatever made you smile involves me I'm happy."

 

I blush as I stare at him in dumbfounded embarrassment as he drops my hand.

 

"Thanks for the clothes by the way.  I feel a lot better being out here in the open with you.  Especially since we don't know what we are up against."  Then his face goes cold as he scans the area.

 

That's when the wind picks up just like the night he ended up on my terrace and a shiver runs down my spine.  Whatever was coming on that wind wasn't going to be good.

 

"I think we should go back kitten.  I don't like what I sense on the air."

 

I agree as we turn and head back, never noticing the slight blue glow of the protection runs on my cross as it illuminates on my neck under my clothing.


	6. Uninvited Guests

Since the moment he sensed the foul wind roll in, he knew entering from the common entrance was suicide as it left them trapped in a narrow space his lance had no chance of working effectively in.  He also knew he couldn't scale up the side in case whatever or whoever was there still lurked nearby. 

 

That being the case, he carried her as he easily scaled the adjacent building before tucking her behind the AC unit sitting on top. 

 

"Do not move unless I say to okay."  He set me down carefully before drawing runes of protection around me in a tight circle.  "Leave that ring and you are as good as dead."  He looked at me with unforgiving eyes that bore through my irises and into the depths of my soul.

 

"I'm smart enough to know a bad idea when I see or sense one but thanks for treating me like a child." 

 

"This has nothing to do with you being a child!"  He growled angrily as he brought his face inches from mine.

 

"Really?  Then skip the mother hen speech, it's not your M.O." I say with a tinge of maliciousness. 

 

He grits his teeth and manifests his spear before tearing his eyes from mine and going to crouch on the edge of the wall of the roof.  "Not a step you understand."  Then he vaults off and lands effortlessly onto my roof. 

 

————————

 

It had been a mistake to not surround her place with runes of protection.  By the time we got back, her small apartment had been trashed as open books lay fluttering in the breeze on the terrace as the pages tried to escape in the receding torrent of dark air left behind in the wake of whatever had come and long since gone. 

 

I walked silently, with my spear at the ready, as I approached her glass sliding door which lay opened.  All the lights were off and not a sound was heard except for the wail of the wind through the door and down the hall as if alluding to the agony of a mission denied. 

 

I was not one to feel or submit to fear, but the crawl on my skin from the magical signature left behind left me ill at ease.  Though I could not pinpoint who or what had been here, I knew it was not to be underestimated or trifled with. 

 

I entered the door carefully.  Fortunately, the living, dining and kitchen area was open without obstructions other than furniture so if no one was there when I entered then no one was in that room.  That left the bathroom and her bedroom around the corner.

 

As I approached the bathroom, I saw the door was ajar.  Lining myself agains the wall next to the door, I listened for sounds of disturbance but found none.  When I was satisfied it was empty, I rounded the corner and saw it had only been slightly disturbed. 

 

That just left her bedroom and I was torn.  This was not how I had wanted to enter her room the first time.  I had hoped to be invited casually, if nothing else, as she asked me to do some menial task like undo the zipper of a dress or, better yet, be taken there in a fit of passion as she pulled at my body with the fervor of a woman enthralled. 

 

Sadly, neither image embodies this scenario, which made me feel more like a creeper and less like a man bent on her protection. 

 

"You alright out there?" I asked in her mind.

 

"I'm cold.  Is everything ok?"

 

"More or less so far, but don't you worry your pretty head.  As soon as I've checked your bedroom, I'll come warm you..."

 

"Ummmm HARD PASS!  Stay the fuck out of  my bedroom asshole!"

 

"Ho ho!  Did I hit a nerve?  What are you hiding in there, porn?  If you are I might just be into it."

 

"SH UT THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK HERE!!!"

 

"Not until I take a peak and make sure everything is ok.  I promise to not rummage through your underwear drawer."  I say with a mental smile that I hope comes across.

 

"I swear to God I will NEVER forgive you if you do!"

 

"I'm sure I could make you forgive me.....over and over again."  I can almost hear the blush and see the burn of her face as my words hit home.  It's so nice to be able to tease her like this since she leaves herself open to my attentions having no control of her mental barriers. 

 

When I turn the corner, her room is destroyed. Clothes are everywhere as drawers rest half open.  The sheets of her queen bed are in complete disarray and her mattress has been taken off the frame so it sits crooked as if someone expected something to be hidden under it, even her jewelry box on her nightstand has been dumped out and lays on the floor. 

 

"Least I can't be blamed for seeing what she's got hidden in here."  I say to myself quietly.  That's when my eyes fall on a skimpy little dark blue, spaghetti strap, laced nightdress in a pile by the bed.

 

Taking the tip of my spear, I pick it up and pull it towards me, spreading the straps so I can see it in its glory.  Falling just below her cheeks to graze her thighs, it covers most of her chest in silk and lace. 

 

"Quite the treasure aren't we?"  My mind begins to picture her in it and I feel heat travel over my body.  "You could do a lot of damage with this thing you know."  Carefully I set it down on the bed and turn to leave.  Maybe staying out of here IS better for my health. 

 

————————————

 

When he returned, I was huddled against the AC unit trying to retain warmth. 

 

“I’m sorry princess, I just had to make sure nothing was left.”Then he picks me up in a princess carry and was about to take a step forward when he stops as his eyes fall on my necklace.He frowns a second. 

 

“Do you ever take that off?” 

 

I look at him skeptically.“Only if I go somewhere formal and it doesn’t match my clothes.”

 

He hums.“Do me a favor.Don’t take it off no matter what until this damn war is over.Think you can do that?”

 

“Sure but why?”I ask confused.

 

“It carries a great deal of magic and I’d bet only part of why your place got trashed has to do with you.I’d say most of it has to do with that.” 

 

I finger the cross.“You really think......wait...” my head snaps up to look at him “....my place got trashed!”

 

“Sure did.Don’t worry, I’ll help you clean.Especially your room.”He smirks before pinching the underside of my thigh.

 

“You rogue!”Me face heats up and I slap his chest.“Stay out of my room!”

 

“Why?”He grins again and brings his head to my ear.“Don’t want me to see you in that sexy blue number that was strewn on the floor?”

 

“OF COURSE I DON’T AND WHY WERE YOU PEEKING!” 

 

“I wasn’t, it was on the floor and I had to search for clues so......”. He gave that disarming smile.

 

I blush and turn my face away.“Justtake me home.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”He readjusted his grip.“Hold on tight.”

 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned against his chest.It was only for the briefest of moments, it would be fine. 

 

With me secure he walked to the edge and stopped.Glancing up briefly, I saw disquiet on his face as he scanned the area one last time.“I don’t like it, but we can’t stay here.”

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“It hasn’t left, but it isn’t with us.Damnit I wish I could tell who or what it was.”Then his grip tightens and we are airborne, heading to what’s left of the quiet life I had led. 

 

——————————

 

“It’s been a while Chulainn.I thought I smelled a mangy dog.Those runes of yours are gonna be a nuisance, but no matter.Good things come to those who wait.”A figure in a dark corner of one of the nearby buildings said before vanishing back into the night.


	7. Haunting

We wouldn't be done with cleaning my room until at least 2 a.m., mainly because someone thought it was cute to "find things" while they were "cleaning" instead of seriously trying to help. 

 

The last straw was when he stumbled upon my drawer of shall we say.....mechanical assistants.  How he found them I will never know seeing as they were still tucked under the bed next to the night stand where they belonged. 

 

"My my aren't we more active than we let on.  Seems like these got a little TLC not that long ago.  I told you if you had po....."

 

That's when the book hit him square in the head.  "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU RUMMAGING DONE THERE FOR!!!!"  I yelled at him with a bright red face. 

 

Rubbing his temple where the corner of the book hit he replies grumpily, "I had to check to make sure the bed wasn't going to collapse and that any nearby furniture wasn't damaged."

 

I knew that wasn't the fucking reason so I just glared at him before saying in a cold, dismissive tone, "Get the hell out."

 

"Awww come on.  It's all in good fun."

 

"Fun is what those are for.  YOU are not fun.  YOU are a pain in my ass. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!"

 

"How do you know I'm not fun?You've never tried me.I'd bet my lance I'm better than all of those."He said with a predatory glare as he walked towards me after placing the objects in question back where he found them.

 

His aura seeped masculinity and raw power.It was daunting, to say the least, to be faced with the flames that covered his lance when he was calling his phantasm and now seemed to radiate off his body as step by step he descended on me.

 

Though I stood my ground, I felt like I would collapse like some swooning ninny in a romance novel at any second.By the time he stood in front of me with that shitty smirk, I swore I was visibly shaking. 

 

"Shall I show you princess?"He asks as his hand comes up to caress the line of my jaw with the tips of his index and middle fingers."It will unfortunately leave the room in quite a mess again though."

 

I know I am breathing heavy and that he feels he has me cornered, but I never put all my cards on the table.Glancing down briefly, I smirk."Not with how lackluster your interest is.Last thing I need is a pitty fuck Lancer.Get the fuck out or go back to cleaning.I want to go to bed alone sometime tonight." 

 

Just like that the aura is gone, the spell broken and I am turning to go back to the mess that is left, secretly wishing it was the mess he had suggested instead. 

 

————————————-

 

Who said anything about a pity fuck?His eye had ticked at that and a slight growl was caught in his throat.That had been an honest offer.How could she want such a crude device over him?Every vital sign in her body screamed that this dynamic right now was exactly what she wanted yet she continued to refuse.What the fuck did she want? 

 

Though his ego was bruised and he knew he should probably go, the thought of turning tail at her insult felt hollow.When he had left her to scout the apartment the emptiness he felt at being apart from her was both baffling and crushing.It was as if her very presence filled a void he didn't know he had, haunting him in a way he never wanted to escape. 

 

Smirking, he bit back."Well don't go off crying if I'm not as willing the next time the need arises.I'm not some side show pony either."

 

"Don't worry I won't."She said over her shoulder as she bent over to pick up discarded garments on the floor."I'm more of a cat person."

 

He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow.  "She really did enjoy riling him up didn't she?"

 

——————————————-

 

"There you are puppet.  I've finally found you.  Now be a good little vessel and give me what I came for."  A shadowy female figure shrouded in black flames said with malice as a hand reached towards her in a black and purple void. 

 

"No stop.  You can't have it.  It's mine and I'm not letting it go."  I backed away into nothingness frantic to find a place to hide, a safe haven to run to. 

 

"Nonsense.  It isn't yours.  It's whomever comes to claim it and now.....that is me."

 

As the hand reaches for my throat, I find myself up against a solid surface, though my eyes only see the vast and empty purple and black horizon.  I try to slide down and curl into a ball but the hand still reaches closer......closer....

 

"No stop.....leave me alone.....you can't have it....it's mine......it's only mine....."

 

Then a blazing white light appears from the cross at my neck and the figure screams before I wake up and find Lancer's hand above my breast and a blue light emanating from my forehead as he straddles my body with a frantic look on his face.

 

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"  I say with more fear than anger at the nightmare I was  having, and had had  many a night before he showed up in my life. 

 

"First tell me what the hell just happened."  His voice was a silent command and though I wanted to protest, I realized the folly of that idea seeing my compromising position.  "Let me sit up and get a drink."

 

He eyes me skeptically.  "Just don't think you are getting out of telling me."

 

I walk to the kitchen in silence, staring straight ahead as I try to shake the reoccurring horror still fresh in my mind.  When I get to the cupboard, I grab a wine glass.  Pivoting to the right, I open the fridge and take the whole bottle of white sitting there in the side door chilling.  Glancing at the glass, then at the bottle, then at the couch, I leave the glass on the counter and open the bottle with the opener I pull from the island drawer before going to sit in the couch. 

 

"Classy." Lancer says from the entryway to the kitchen and I flash him the middle finger before plopping down and taking a swig.

 

He just half laughs and comes to sit next to me leaving a legs width of space between us as he rests his arms on the back of the couch before closing his right eye and mock glaring at me with his left."So you gonna tell me?"

 

I rest the bottle on my knee and swallow, looking straight ahead before saying, "The nightmares started when I got the necklace.Until about a month ago all I saw was me running around the city as essentially what felt like a presence, similar to the eye of Sauron, hunted.I couldn't tell if it was for me, but I did know something told me not to fucking get caught." 

 

I took another swig before continuing.“Within the last month, the scenery changed to a black and purple oily swirling landscape where I run and run and a shadowy figure chases me.Each time the figure is different." 

 

"Since you appeared, I haven't had one until tonight, but tonight the figure was clearly female as it told me it had found me and was reaching for my neck when the white light appeared and I woke up to it's screams."

 

I took another swig then looked at him."What was that blue light emanating from my forehead?Is that what brought me back?"

 

"In a manner of speaking.I drew a rune of protection on your forehead to protect your mind from invasion.When I realized you were having a nightmare, I ran in and drew the rune hoping whatever it was would be banished.I am glad I did because you were curled up and fear riddled your face.Now I know why."

 

I took another swig and he continued, the bottle half gone.

 

"Do you recognize the attackers at all?"

 

I shake my head but realize that isn't a good idea and result to just a weak no in response.

 

"Well I think it's fair to say our opponents have found you."

 

I nod and just sit there staring at his face with soft sad eyes. After a minute he starts blushing and asks, "Is there something on my face?"

 

"No."I say softly."Your face is just so beautiful, it always has been.At least to me."That's when I reach out and graze his jawline with my fingers, getting bold now that the wine is hitting me enough to lose some inhibitions.

 

He doesn't move, but his blush increases."That wine must be hitting you huh?"

 

I frown."And if it is?You saying I'm too ugly to share an intimacy with?"

 

"I didn't say that!"He barks and then turns his head slightly. 

 

That's when I lean forward, placing my right hand on his left leg before bringing my lips to his ear."For a man so bad with women you should relish a chance to be worshipped by someone so ensnared by you."

 

I feel him shudder before placing a hand on my shoulder and pushing back slightly."Yep, definitely drunk.Why don't we put you to bed princess."

 

I reach for his hair and pull out his clip not taking no for an answer."Come on Lancer....I promise you won't regret it."My eyes on his as he turns to look at me are filled with lust as my breathing elevates being this close to kissing. 

 

"I think I'll pass.Wouldn't want any regrets in the morning."

 

Never has a door been slammed so hard in my face.It takes me a second before I rise and grab the bottle, corking it, then placing it on the island before I step into the hallway with his clip in my hand. Stopping in the entryway to the darkness before me, I turn my head and say, "I have never been so glad that you never haunted my dreams no matter how bad I begged the night.Living with you now is more of a nightmare than any dream could ever have been even if you rejected me there to."Then I drop his clip and head to my room, broken and scared that my heart is in the hands of a soulless man and my life is forfeit to his destiny.


	8. The Hand That Binds

A sickening crunch of metal impacting with bone breaks the silence of the barely lit cinder block room before male grunts and moans create a residual air of suffering before a male voice dominates the room.

 

"You mean to tell me that you were unable to ascertain any information about the grail because when you arrived, the place where it resides was already being ransacked by a cloaked figure you couldn't identify?"

 

"That is...." violent hacking and coughing ensues as a second male figure fights to breathe on the ground as he struggles to rise from his prostate  position but is restricted by the chains binding him to floor "....that is correct.  By the time I got there, a cloaked figure was leaving as the presumed owner of the grail and her supposed servant were returning."

 

 

"Did you happen to see which servant she had contracted with?"  The male voice asked with caged malice.

 

"I did...." *hacking resumes briefly* "...it would seem she has contracted with the Lancer Cu Chulainn."

 

"Ah the wastrel mutt returns.  Clearly his defeats haven't turned him off completely despite their vastness in number."  The male sighs. "No matter.  Now that we know what we are up against we can plan appropriately how best to steal the prize right out from under him." 

 

"Shouldn't we try to conclude if there are other servants present first?"  A second male of similar tenor, but more intellectual prose chimes in with a slightly bored tone.

 

"Perhaps, but we still have two more servants to bring to our cause dear Caster."

 

The male called Caster humphs before replying.  "You realize if you continue to abuse the vessel it won't be fit to summon one let alone two more servants."

 

"Then he better get it right next time so I don't have to."  Then the male figure who had spoken retreats, followed closely by the one called Caster before the room is once again shrouded in shadow as the faint sounds of wheezing lingers on.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

"What were you able to find?"  A serious, monotone male tenor asks with a finality that expects answers.

 

"There was nothing, though the grail's magic signature is clearly present.  Somewhere in that residence, the grail resides."  A second male tenor of equal range responds just as flatly.

 

"Did anyone see you?"  A slight bossy female soprano voice cuts in with an accusatory inquiry as if the ignorance of the two men with her was glaringly apparent and a continued burden for her. 

 

"There was a presence, but I did not have time to investigate as the Servant and Vessel that reside in the abode were returning at a rather fast pace.  I only just retreated before his signature came fully into view."  The male tenor under interrogation replied without emotion.

 

"Did you at least figure out who it was then?  Or do I have to do it myself?"  Her snarky little voice called out imperiously. 

 

"It would seem Lancer Cu Chulainn is the Servant in question.  I sensed no other presence nor magical signature, marking him as the only servant present at this time."

 

"And the other figure?  If you were being watched did you sense anything from him?"  She quipped.

 

"It was not a Servant.  More likely it was another Vessel such as yourself.  The question is who, and whose?"

 

"What a drag.  This means there is at least one other Servant Vessel contract out there with an unknown number of servants at it's disposal like us.  If that is the case, then the best course of action is to ascertain who this other is and how many we are up against."

 

"Are you sure we have time for that?  If they also know where the grail is, my guess is they will make their move sooner rather than later.  If Lancer really is the only one, it will be easy to outnumber him as we are now."

 

"That may be true, but there is no sense laying all our cards on the table yet.  Assassin, I want you to continue your surveillance without being noticed.  As for you...."  She points to the other male in questions "...I want you to see what you can find around the city.  We need to know where they are hiding so we know where our blind spots are."

 

"Just as bossy as always."  The male says with aplomb.

 

"WELL I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE IF YOU WOULD COME UP WITH IDEAS YOURSELF!"  She blushes in frustration, which the male she is engaged in conversation with promptly ignores, the other male having left for his assignment. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

On a hill above the city a male stands looking out on the vastness of the domain he has come to claim.  

 

 

"This would be the perfect place to rebuild your Highness.  This kingdom is ripe with  commerce and it's people seem bent on production and innovation, things you loved when you ruled many moons ago."  A cloaked figure appears as if out of the mist to stand beside the man deep in thought. 

 

"It is true that this city seems to have all things necessary for lasting success, but its people seem just as jaded and self absorbed.  I would not have them fall to the same folly we did if I can avoid it."

 

"You are a different king now your Magesty."  A female voice resounds as it walks towards the man looking out over the city as her voice and presence sparks with hope and wonder. 

 

"That I may be, but this is not my time.  Even should we win the grail, we have not won the war for humanity.  Without their support and love I cannot hope to vanquish the follies I fell against when I was king."

 

"Always the worrier, always the sacrificial lamb.  You must find your own peace highness..." then with a swirl of his hand the cloaked figure produces a blue iridescent butterfly that flies off into the night ".....before gaining the happiness of others."

 

"Always the sage and my dearest friend.  Remind me why you agreed to this?"

 

"Because I agree to all things that interest me Highness and the world in your visage suits me best."

 

\------------------------------------------

 

I had no way to know the world that I had been thrown into.....yet stayed apart of.  No way to know the magic I possessed yet was unaware of how to access until it happen by chance.  As I lay there in bed with my heart breaking because the man that I held a secret love for had rejected me in a harsh slap of glory, it felt like nothing mattered.  Sure my house had been ransacked, but we had no way to prove that it was part of some Unholy War.  The idea seemed totally ridiculous. HE was totally ridiculous.  He was an asshole.  He......

 

I buried my face in my pillow and curled into a ball as tears began streaming down my face.  How could I advance on him like that?  Was I out of my damn mind?  He didn't want me.  He was only here to protwct me....maybe...if all of this was even real....if all of this....

 

Then there was a knock on the door.

 

"What in the hell do you want Lancer!"  I said in a chocked voice.

 

"Listen I.....I'm sorry.  That wasn't......that wasn't what I meant.  I didn't mean I would regret it.  I meant you.....I didn't want you to have any regrets.

 

"Like I would fucking believe you now you ungrateful asshole!

 

 

"Ok fair enough, but I really am sorry.  Will you let me in so I don't have to let myself in?"

 

"Don't you fucking dare."  I growl at the door.

 

"Then why don't you come out so we can talk about this like adults hmmm?"

 

I squint at the door like that is actually going to matter.   "What if I don't want to?"

 

I hear him sigh on the other side of the door.  "Because I have been nothing but a gentleman.  I could have taken complete advantage of you then if I had wanted."

 

Famous last words.

 

"If you wanted?  You trying to say you don't want me now?  That I'm not good enough to waste time on?  Is that what you are trying to say?  Please.  By all means.  Clarify.  I'm DYING TO KNOW!"

 

"Why do you have to make everything so difficult?"

 

Then the next thing I know he has materialized in front of me and has me in a princess carry as he takes me out of my room and out onto the balcony.

 

"What the fuck Lancer put me down!"

 

"As you wish."  Then he drops the hand supporting my legs causing me to jerk suddenly and wrap my arms around his neck in panic, which makes him smile mischievously.  "I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me."

 

"You wish."  I grumble before releasing him and walking to the edge of the terrace.  "What did you want to talk about?  At this point all I want is to go to bed."

 

"To be honest, I just hate to see you cry.  I figured if I got you out here I could get you to warm back up to me."  Then he flashes that cheesy smile that causes me to roll my eyes as I try not to smile. 

 

"I really fucking hate you, you know that?"  I said in the LEAST convincing voice possible that is laced with more frustration and irritation than anything else.

 

"Somehow...." he whispers in my ear even though moments ago he was a good 12 feet away from me which causes me to shiver and my breath to catch ".....I don't think that is entirely true.  If I were to guess.....I might even say you......"

 

Then his lance comes out and he shoves me behind him protectively as he gazes into the night.

 

"Cu?  Cu what's going on?"

 

"I'm not sure princess, but what I can say is it sure as hell isn't good.  Why don't we go back inside and I'll place some wards out here just to keep things even."

 

"Sure.  Promise you will be right in?"

 

"You have my word.  Just hurry inside will ya?  I would hate to have you get hurt."

 

"Right."  Then I look out into the night briefly, feeling a change in the air but seeing nothing before turning and heading inside.  When I get to the door I look over my shoulder.  "You know....you've always been my best Boi.  I never form a party without you.  Just be safe ok?"  Then I head inside never seeing the bush and tick of embarrassed frustration that crosses his face.

 

"Awww come on princess why'd ya have to go and say that?  Now I don't have any other choice."  Walking around the perimeter he places wards along the edge of the terrace, the outside wall of the apartment, and right outside the door and windows. When he is done, he glares out into the darkness before speaking.

 

"I know you are out there, and I know what you want.  You can't have it.  I won't give it up.  So you are going to have to kill me first and I promise.....I won't make it easy."  Then he stands there a moment before heading inside.

 

It takes several moments before the figure of assassin shifts out of the shadows.  "You have an uncanny sense Lancer.  It would seem old dogs can learn new tricks."  Then the figure is gone, back into the shadows and the night resumes as if nothing ever happened.


	9. The Nightmare Begins

Fucking Assassins left a bad taste in his mouth.  After "Hassan" ripped out his heart because he didn't have the balls to face his truth (sorry ruining Heaven's Feel for some of you) he hated them all.  Easily one of his greatest regrets, he realized that one act had been the turning point that brought him to his wish for this particular war.

Once back in the aether, he vowed never again to let his own fear and regrets hold him back.  That being said, how the fuck was he supposed to keep this magicless woman safe when all he had was himself and a rising sense of dread that the world was about to come crashing down and no one would hear them scream?

With the outside warded, he lined the inside as well before heading to check on her.  When he got to her room, he put his hand on her door and listened.  Her breathing was even, her heartbeat was regular, but she didn't have that lowered heart rate that signaled she was asleep. 

He knocked twice before calling out, "Princess you asleep?"

"No.  Is everything alright?" Her voice was curious with a tinge of hesitation.

"I would be lying if I said it was.  Someone is out there, but they shouldn't bother us tonight.  Odds are they just want to scare us a little."

"Do you know why they are here?  Or even how many there are?"

Sighing heavily in frustration he replied, "No.  I know there is at least one but we can't expect that to be all.  They also know where you live and that the object they are searching for is here."

"What object could that be?  I don't have anything of value."

"As much as I love our talk, could I possible not continue it on the other side of the door?  It's rather impersonal."

"Right.....sure.  You can come in."

He opens the door to find her covered from the waist down dressed in a simple cotton tank.  Though the view slightly saddened him, he wasn't in the least bit surprised.  She was an incredibly practical woman and  one that didn't seem partial to fits of fantasy.  Pity really. 

"Right so as I was about to say, even I can sense the object in question and, to be completely honest, I suspect its that mist covered necklace of yours."

She quickly grabs the cross at her neck, holding it in the fist of her hand as she frowns and looks into his eyes.  "Why would they want this?  It isn't valuable at all."

"It's like I told you before.  That pendant possesses some sort of magical property.  Even if you didn't do it or have none, that pendant does and it could be very dangerous in the wrong hands.  If we have Servants up our ass because of it, I can almost guarantee it is the reason we are all here."

"Well.... what if I get rid of it?"

"If you do that we are all dead.  I realize you may not be familiar with the Grail War but I can promise you if that is some type of catalyst then keeping it safe is top priority."

"Keep it safe?  What the fuck am I supposed to do!  I don't have any magic!  I don't even know how the hell to use it if it does!"

He can sense her panic and walks over to stand in front of her before he leans down and pulls her onto his lap as he wraps his arms around her.  "It isn't your job to do it it is mine.  I am here to protect you, you just need to keep wearing it and let me do the hard work."  That's when he pulls back and winks at her which earns him a half smile. 

"Feel better?"

"To be honest?  I think I would feel better if you had actually won a grail war, but you are easily one of THE best Lancers so, I guess you are at least a LITTLE qualified."

That hurt.  Boy was she blunt, but in a weird way he liked that about her.  He hated all the bullshit most Masters played and so far she had not lead him astray or used him improperly, just treated him like an equal and he respected her for that. 

"Fair point, but you're a little too cute to just let die.  I might actually put some serious effort in on the off chance you change your mind about liking me."

"I doubt it."  She blushes and pushes his chest slightly, but instead of removing her hand she just lays it flat against his chest and stares at the his clavicle. 

"Cu?"

He raises an eyebrow at the unexpected vulnerability in her voice.  "Yes?"

Then she rubs the tips of her fingers up and down on his chest an inch, no more no less.  "Will you stay here with me?  I.....don't feel good about sleeping alone.  Something....something isn't right."

Under normal circumstances he would have a quip ready to tease her with, but as he felt her hand press into his chest as her other gripped the sheets he knew this was not the time for jokes, harmless or not.

"I am here to protect you.  If you want me with you to feel safe, I would be happy to oblige."

"Thank you Cu."  Then she looks up and smiles before sliding off his lap and crawling back under the covers.  "Can you get the light?"

"Of course."  He then rose and pulled on the chain to the overhead light before coming to lay on top of the covers next to her.

"Goodnight Cu."

"Goodnight princess.  I'll be here if you need me."

She yawned.  _I always need you even if I don't tell you._ He heard in his head which caused him to jerk slightly and then readjust as if he was just trying to get comfortable as a blush crept over his face.  Did she really mean that?  Before he could ponder the questions, he sensed her slow and steady breathing as she fell into a deep sleep.

\-------------------------------------------

That night he dreamed of home.  He was roaming the open countryside of Ireland outside of his clan territory hunting.  It was his turn to bring home what was needed to replenish the stores and so he had set out early to places least traveled.  The area he was in he knew well, but it was a place that would provide little relief should be need help since few came this far outside of clan territory.  All paths here were just animal trails, which had never bothered him and the weather was expected to be excellent so he had set out with only what he needed and nothing more.

After 3 hours in, he had a full pack horse full carrying one deer, one boar and twelve rabbits.  He had also found several herbs and medicines they had been running low on as well.  Sitting down to take a rest, he began to pull out his dried stores from his pack to have a light meal before continuing.  As he sat down, he started feeling an unusual presence.  It was as if something or someone was just on the edge of his vision, but every time he turned his head he couldn't see anything.

After sitting for several minutes, the presence became so disturbing that he packed up and began moving forward.  The day was still beautiful and the farther he got away from the spot he had rested, the less and less he felt the presence.  After several more kills, he stopped in the clearing of a forest to readjust his pack horse.  Feeling satisfied with his bounty, he turned to head home. 

That's when he saw it on the edge of the horizon.  At first it as just a dark line, as if an unexpected storm was approaching.  Cinching up his prizes, he prepared for a deluge as he headed towards the line of black.

Then two steps foward a figure flashed in his peripheral.  Whipping out his spear, he put his back to the horse guarding his blind spot and waited.  When the figure didn't appear again, he went to move forward only to hear a male laugh off to his right and a dark shape flit among the trees.  What the hell was going on?  This area should be uninhabited.  There wasn't another clan for miles around.....

"Laaaancer....." the voice whispered.

That's when Cu woke with a start, sitting bolt upright before turning to look at the still sleeping form of the woman beside him.

"Just a dream."  He whispered, before trying to lay back.

"Laaaaancer."  The voice came again from the other side of the door.

Calling his spear, he carefully slunk out of bed towards the door.  Had someone gotten past his runes?  When he got to the door, he plastered himself against the opposite side of the door frame before opening the door and letting it swing open.  When no one came through, he peered around the frame and down the hall.

"Laaaancer."  The voice called again, except this time it seemed like it was outside.  Checking the runes he had left at her door, he found them still intact.  Sighing with relief he began his slow stalk to the door of the outside terrace.  When he found those runes still intact as well, he carefully opened the door and stepped out.

"Laaaaancer."  The voice called faintly on the wind in front of him.

Growling, he realized he had to choose.  Follow the threat or stay and guard her.  If his runes were still in place, odds are she would be safe.  She also had the ward on her mind so no one could invade her thoughts.  Glancing back once more to her room, he signed the rune for protection before bounding into the night across in pursuit of his nightmare.

\--------------------------------

A faint blue light lit the room as the sign for protection on the top of her cross illuminated.  There would be no way to know how effective it would be on it's own, but there was only one way to find out.  A way that was knocking at her door this very moment.


	10. Parallel Lines

In case anyone is curious [Parallel Lines by DVBBS & CMC$](https://youtu.be/3T2PPaqumYs)

 

She had no way to know that once Cu left, a second figure was slinking towards her position.  With each breath she took, with each rise of her chest, they took one step, then another, then another.  From roof to roof, they traversed until they landed softly on the wall of her terrace which was the only place not warded.  

"Troublesome Lancer.  Always messing with things he doesn't fully grasp."  A male voice said as he assessed the terrain.  It would take time to dismantle to runes.  Time he just didn't have.  "You leave me no choice mutt.  I'll just have to break my way in and pray for survivors."  Then the male placed his hands to the side as he moved to call forth his weapons, but found himself confronted with a circle of flame as a shadowy figure walked towards him from the other side of the blaze.  

In an attempt to jump back to a safe distance, the trapped Servant slammed into a wall of air as a voice with the air of eons of wisdom spoke.  "Still falling for the same old traps are we Archer?"  Looks like you will never get a leg up on me."

\---------------------------

** Flash back **

At the same time Cu was dreaming about home, I was dreaming of a lake in the middle of the woods that glistened like glass and housed an enormous Tree of Ancients in the center on a small island.  The world was green and quiet with a gentle breeze carrying the rustle of the trees.  The tree fascinated me, but it was the lake that drew me.  The closer I got, the more it called to me.  As if something inside wanted to claim me or be released.  

I couldn't resist it's sensuous call, its glistening beauty.  The closer I got, the louder the voice drawing me got.  Though it spoke in a language I did not understand, I knew that once I reached out and touched it all would be revealed. Unable to wait, unable to resist, I jogged to its edge and bent down.  I wanted to feel its cool caress, be wrapped in its gentle promise.  It was my answer to my everything and yet.....

"All is not as it seems mo luach.  Do not be deceived by it's glamour for you are weak against its truth having loved it's visage so long and with such bias."  A male voice whispers gently in my ear, waking me from a trance I didn't know I was in.    As I glance around, the world I see is filled with despair and anguish as buildings lie in ruin and smoke and fire plague the skies.  The lake my hand is inches from is a pool of blood and there are eyes.....eyes hidden in its depths.  

Scrambling back, I bump into something solid, something warm and when I turn to look my eyes alight with surprise.  "Mo nèamh!"

"It was a smart thing he did, placing that ward on you.  Without it your heart never would have reached me and the pool of sorrow would have claimed you."

Looking back at the putrid body of liquid I shudder.  "What is it?"

"It is the lake and kingdom after Camelot was destroyed.  It would seem you have found quite a powerful enemy.  Fortunately, I am familiar with their kind and so could bring you back with little effort."

I turned back to look into his piercing red eyes.  "How did I get here?"

"It would seem a pesky mage tried to claim you for himself, being part Incubus, and dragged you here while you slept.  Do not worry your body is safe in your room, but your soul is not.  Will you stand for me?"

I nod and then rise with him, dusting myself off.  

"I need you to do me a favor mo ghràidh."  He then tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as he smiles.  "I need you to sing."

I look at him with confusion. "Sing?"

"Yes.  I need you to sing."

"But....what shall I sing?  This hardly seems like the place."

"But it is dear one.  If you do not sing, I cannot save you."  Then he places his index finger at my heart before tracing the rune Kenaz and my very soul seems to come alight with an internal flame.  Before I know it my voice rings out clear and true.  

There's a force stronger than us  
But this love I can't ignore (can't ignore)  
We run the same course  
But we never touch  
My body attracts yours (attracts yours)  
  
  
What if I am your missin' piece?  
What if we mess with destiny?  
What if the definition of we  
Is two people in time livin' their own lives?  
Like two parallel lines  
That'll never, that'll never collide  
Steady, I just keep on hoping  
That one of us will find  
Find a way we can intertwine  
Steady I just keep, I keep on hoping

Another day

I see you runnin' away from the way that you look at me

Just look at me, yeah  
Why you don't change  
Just cause the weather is cold, that don't mean that we're losing it (losing it)  
Aren't you wondering?

What if I am your missin' piece?  
What if we mess with destiny?  
What if the definition of we  
Is two people in time livin' their own lives?  
Like two parallel lines  
That'll never, that'll never collide  
Steady, I just keep on hoping  
That one of us will find  
Find a way we can intertwine  
Steady I just keep, I keep on hoping

I sing until tears pour out of my eyes and my heart feels like it will break.  When the song finally ends, I notice my pendant is glowing red and the rune Kenaz is engraved on the eastern arm of the cross.  Looking up at him in surprise I ask, "Does this mean....."

"It means we can go home and I can help that reckless mutt take care of you.  There are more enemies than you can hope to deal with alone and it will take all of us to fend them off."

"All of us....?"

He just smiles and raises his hood.  "Come....take my hand."  He reaches out his gloved hand and I stare at it a moment before placing my hand in his.  The moment he had a firm grip, he pulls me against him and I gasp in surprise.  "Off we go then."  Then in a flash of white light I am back in my room sitting up, staring into darkness as the faint red and blue glow of my pendant provides the only light in the room.

\----------------------------------------

** Flash forward to present. **

"It seems we miscalculated.  I didn't realize she had a filthy Caster mutt with her as well."  The Archer replied with his usual cynicism.  

"Even if you had, it wouldn't have mattered.  I am still more than able to beat you, as I have proven in the past."  Then Caster walks effortlessly through the fire to stand at its edge as he rests the butt of his staff on the ground and stares at his rival.  

"We shall see about that.  I know your tricks now and can easily avoid them."  Then Archer jumps backwards off the edge of the building before disappearing into the darkness.

Swiping his hand in a reverse ark right to left, Caster puts out the flames at the same instant both I and his younger self alight on the terrace.

"Mo nèamh is it really you?"  My eyes are wide as I stare at Caster in awe and shock, completely ignoring the man I holds dearest to my heart.

Caster turns and removes his hood before smiling his heart warming smile.  "That it is.  It would seem your song brought me to life as I had hoped."

"Can someone explain what the hell is going on?"  Lancer said with clear annoyance as he placed himself between Caster and me.

"Don't be so rude Cu.  If it hadn't been for Caster I wouldn't be here now."  I bark back as I glare at him.

"What the hell does that mean.  My wards were still here when I left, as they are now, so I hardly think you were in any danger."  He snapped back.

Caster sighs.  "Clearly someone shirked their education in Runes when they were with Scathach.  All that rune you placed on her mind did was ward her from lesser magic users.  There was no way it was strong enough to fend off a mage of Merlin's caliber."

"I'm sorry what?"  Cu said in shock as he turned to Caster with a look of sheer disbelief.  "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"After you left, she was attacked in her sleep by the Incubus Merlin.  He tried to draw her into the lake of grief at the sight of their destroyed Camelot, but failed when that rune of protection called out to me via the magic in that necklace and I broke the glamour by whispering in her ear."

I blush as I remember his sweet voice and the gentle graze of his lips against my ear, which only enrages Cu more

Storming up to him and grabbing his cloak at the scruff, Cu gets in Caster's face threateningly.  "Listen here you filthy druid.  Keep your hands off her and that damn tongue  of yours in your mouth.  You hear me!"

Caster just smiles and dismisses his hand with a swipe of his.  "There wasn't anything you could do Lancer.  Without me, even if you stayed with her, you would have watched her die as Merlin ate her soul from the inside.  You would think me even mentioning him would spark a larger concern, but yet again you can only think with that brain between your legs."

Then Caster walks past him before taking me gently by the shoulder and turning me so we can head inside.  "Come mo ghràidh, it's late."  He then leads me inside and to my room where he sets a series of more intense wards on both the room, the apartment, and my person as he drew Uruz on my hands, Kenaz at my heart, Algiz on my forehead and Odins Rune at my clavicle right under the center of my charm.

\--------------------------------------------------

When she was fast asleep, which didn't take long once I started running my fingers through her hair, I walked out onto the terrace where I knew my younger self would be sulking.  True to his nature he was leaning against the wall that ran perpendicular to her doorway staring out into the darkness.

"You have to realize I am not here to take her from you."

Lancer shifts but says nothing.

"What took you away from her?  Normally nothing can keep you from your charge ESPECIALLY when it is female and cute."

"Shut up you closet perv.  I didn't want to leave but a voice was calling me and I was afraid if I didn't scout it out it would find a way in and attack her.  I don't know how but I think it got past my runes.  I heard it right outside her door."

"An assassin then.  Do you know which one?"  I ask with genuine curiosity.  

"By the looks of it, I would say Emiya.  Why do you ask?"

"Because that is who I was fighting before you arrived back."

He turned to face me then with disbelief on his face.  "That's impossible, I chased him the equivalent of several hours away from our location."

"You misunderstand.  I was fighting Emiya, but as Archer."

"Is that even possible?"  He asks in disbelief.  

"It shouldn't be, but it seems based on the rules of this war we are fighting against a dynamic we have never encountered before."

"And that is?"  His voice held disbelief and criticism.

"We aren't fighting Servants alone.  For this war there is no 1:1 ratio.  Instead, there is an X:X ratio of likes where a servant with multiple evolution fights against another with a catalyst capable of housing the grail as their vessel."

"And how did you come to this conclusion."

"Besides us and Emiya being the only logical explanation?"  He then pulls a cigarette out of his robes and lights it with his index finger.  "The grail told me when it pulled me from the abyss to answer her call as her heart screamed against the falsity Merlin was feeding her."  He took a drag and then blew out slowly.

"Why would the grail tell you and not me?"

"Because you never almost won a war and..." he took another drag "...you aren't directly connected to the annals of history like Merlin and I are.  Being Sages, we read the fabric of time.  Even if the grail didn't tell me, I would have found out soon enough.  Nature and magic never lie, all you have to do is ask the right questions."

"So what does it mean if Merlin is involved?"

"That we have a pretty nasty problem.  Our only hope is that that woman can access the rest of us and get us here before all hell breaks loose."

Cu just frowns and then looks back out at the quiet city.  After several moments pass, Caster lights the butt of his cigarette on fire, dissolving it in his flames before speaking.  "No matter what happens, you are the only one who can claim the grail.  You have to know that."

Cu looks at him sharply.  "And why is that?  You have seen my track record."

"Because no matter how much you think she loves me or any of the others, she is ten times more in love with you.  Only you can harness her true power, but it's going to require you to trust and love her completely and get her to do the same with you.  If she doesn't love all of you, we will never win this or any war.  If we lose here we will cease to be."

"Don't you think I know that!"  He barks back.

"You don't have a lot of time.  Put away your pride Setanta.  She is your only ticket out of here."  Then he turns and heads back into the house, leaving Lancer to his thoughts.

————————————

 Mo nèamh= My Heaven

Mo luach = my treasure (close translation)

mo ghràidh = my dear

 


	11. History At War

The next morning I awoke to a serene sense of calm.  It was the kind where the light shines softly through your open window as a light cool breeze gently fills the room.  No sounds are heard and....

 

That's when only phone starts ringing loudly.  Grumbling, I roll to my side and check the display with a groan before opening it up.

 

"Good morning Hatchi."

 

"DON'T YOU GOOD MORNING ME!!!!  WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PROTOTYPE SKETCHES FOR THE SECOND SEASON!!!!"

 

Sighing, I grab my ear buds in the nightstand before getting out of bed and heading into the kitchen dressed only in shorts and a ratty tank. 

 

"You do realize today is the last day of my staycation right?  As such, I am under no requirement to work until I return to the office tomorrow."

 

"OFFICE MY ASS YOU FUCKING WORK FROM HOME MS. THERE IS TOO MUCH TESTOSTERONE AND I WORK BETTER IN A NEUTRAL ENVIRONMENT!  I EXPECT THOSE DRAWINGS BY THE END OF THE WEEK!"

 

"Love you too Hatchi.  I'll see you then." *click*.  With everything going on the last few days I had totally forgotten about the sketches I had been working on for the second season of Fate Odyssey, a new Fate ARC I was helping to create since the creator had no artistic talent whatsoever.  Problem was, I had been stuck mentally after a few run ins with the opposite sex recently had left a bad taste in my mouth so I hadn't been able to finish, or really even start, creating story boards for the script I had. 

 

"Fuck."

 

Reaching for a mug from the cupboard, I had every intention of making a cup of something strong, maybe adding Baileys to dull my mind enough to release the creativity, when a voice from behind startled me.

 

"So affectionate in the morning.  Someone we should know or something I can help with?"

 

Turning, I see the beautiful face of Caster who is leaning on his elbows with a mug of coffee in his hands as he smiles from behind it, eyes sparkling with curiosity and maybe a little mischief. 

 

"Not unless you give me that coffee so I don't have to make any."  I say in a flat tone.  My boss at my full-time job just needs my work by weeks end."

 

"Gladly."  He takes another sip, then stands erect before reaching towards me with the mug.

 

I raise my eyebrow and take it hesitantly, bringing it to my lips and smelling the aroma skeptically until my nose picks up a familiar scent.  My eyes going wide, I take a sip and give a slight moan of pleasure.  "There's chicory in here!  It tasted amazing!  Where did you get it?"

 

He smiles in slight triumph before winking.  "If I told you that you might not ask for my help in making you more."

 

"Ugh....that's not a thing.  You are on coffee duty from now on."  I say after polishing off the cup and handing it back.  "More please."

 

"Anything for someone as cute as you."  Then he leans towards me and kisses the side of my head before heading to the other side of the counter to open a container that wasn't mine.  Adding it's contents to the mortar and pestle on the counter, he adds some ground coffee before combining and grinding the ingredients. 

 

As everything blends, I can smell the faint aroma of chicory as it is crushed into the grounds.  Walking over in fascination, I lean my back against the counter and watch his deft hands create alchemical perfection. 

 

"You really are an amazing Druid aren't you.  You are so good with your hands and your knowledge is just astounding."  The awe in my voice clear.

 

He was about to reply when a slightly more bitter voice interjects.  "Too much praise will go to his head.  He doesn't need help blowing up his own ego."  Lancer verbally pouts from the couch. 

 

"You're just jealous brother because she doesn't praise you since you rarely do anything worth praising."

 

I turn my eyes from Caster to Lancer in amusement, waiting for his reaction. 

 

"She just doesn't realize how much of a womanizer you are behind that austere facade.She wouldn't be as impressed by if she realized how loose you are."

 

I raise an eyebrow and turn it on Caster with a questioning look. 

 

"It's true I have loved many woman in my time, but each one agreed on a stringless engagement, ending when it ended.I have left no woman wanting nor heartlessly.You have yet to love any but our long dead wife.Why is that?"His voice is amused and calm as if Lancer's insults are just waves that crash against him.

 

"I'm not interested in children.I'm slightly more discriminate than some."He jabbed.

 

"One does not always get to pick the path of guidance.If one wishes to learn then he who

can teach is obligated.Just because you wish to limit your interactions doesn't mean the potential knowledge you could have gained wouldn't have been worth the investment.Yet again you seemed to have missed one of Scathach's fundamental teachings."

 

"I missed a lot of her teachings considering most of the ones she offered you were underneath you, a courtesy she never extended to me."

 

"Poor wounded puppy.Jealous much?"With the grinding done, Caster places the mixture in a filter over the cup before pouring hot water over it. 

 

All I hear is a growl from the couch before, through clenched teeth, Lancer replies, "I have more morals.I'm not looking for a quick lay just because I can't handle the loss of my wife and child."

 

The room goes unnaturally silent and I sense a prickly tension in the air.As my eyes dart between the two men, I see Casters face frown and his eyes go sad. 

 

"It is true I have filled the void wantonly, but I find the love of a woman the greatest comfort instead of using it as a emotional self flagelation tool."

 

With that, Caster removes the filter and passes the mug to me before tossing the remains in the trash and walking out onto the terrace in silence.

 

I watch him in silence before turning a slightly accusatory look at Lancer who doesn't turn around.  "Little unnecessary don't you think?"  I finish my second cup and go to follow after Caster but Lancer's sad and jealous voice catches me off guard, halting me in my tracks. 

 

"What do you see in that guy?"  He doesn't look at me as he asks, just stares at the table in front of him in anger. 

 

"Everything I don't see in you."  Then I turn to walk again but his voice stops me for a second time, though I refuse to turn.  "Even if that's true, I swore to protect you and I will, even if it is from myself.  He can't love you.  He hasn't loved anyone since Emer died."

 

"And you have?"  I ask accusingly.

 

There is a long silence, as if he is weighing his words carefully.  Then he speaks with a heavy voice.  "I have not but I am not incapable."  Then he looks at me and my eyes go wide as I sense a truth hidden behind those red orbs he is unwilling to relinquish. 

 

"Then I pity the woman who claims you.  Abused animals are the hardest to handle."  Then I really do turn and leave. 

 

Once outside, I walk to Caster's side and stand as we look out at the city. After several moments, he speaks.

 

"You didn't need to come out.  I'm not so fragile that his words wound me overly much."

 

"He was being insufferable.  It was as much for me as it was you."

 

He laughs lightly.  "Is that so.  Here I thought you just wanted more coffee." 

 

I flower at him and bowl into him with my shoulder before he gives me a side eye and pushes back.....placing his hand at my hip and pulling me into him so he can kiss the top of my head. 

 

"You should not be so unkind to him mo luach.  He might just have feelings for you."

 

I snort.  "Not a chance in hell.  He only loves himself and woman in general.  He's a man whore for attention."

 

"Aren't all good dogs?"  His thumb begins tracing up and down my hip bone and I lean into him, surprised at my own forwardness.

 

"That may be true but...."

 

We have a problem.  There's a strong mana signature coming this way from inside the building.  You two better get your asses in here.

 

Caster quickly turns me before guiding me inside protectively.  When we get inside and he locks the door, I look at him with confusion.

 

His nose for trouble has always been the best.  It's about the only thing he is good for.  Caster says in our minds with such finality that no response is needed.  I couldn't sense a thing and still can't, but his instincts are never wrong.

 

We all stand watching the locked front door for several moments until Lancer turns to Caster who has a rare look of surprise on his face, though neither looks at me just back at the door. 

 

A few more minutes go by and an knock comes at the door.  I go to move towards the door, but Lancer flings out his arm to the side halting me.  The knock cones again and his arm remains out to the side instructing me to stay where I am.  After the third knock and no response, I hear something scratching and light thumps on the door before all movement and noise vanishes. 

 

When Lancer finally drops his arm, signaling it is safe to move, Caster hides me behind his body as Lancer opens the door.  Though no one is outside, there is a pamphlet stuck to the door, which Lancer scans quickly. 

 

As I watch him read, his eyes brim with hate and his red aura starts radiating off his body.

 

"What is it brother?"  Caster commands an answer and Lancer comes to hand him the pamphlet.  He scans it and whistles.  "Church of the Grail huh?  And you said it's not on any other door?"

 

Lancer shakes his head no. 

 

"Seems like we have more than two hands full now."

 

I look between the two in frustration.  "Can someone tell me what the help this means?  Isn't it just some door to door gospel salesman?"

 

"I wish it were mo nèamh.  It would seem we have a few more old friends out for blood."

 

That's when Lancer comes up to me and grabs my chin.  "You will not under ANY circumstances go ANYWHERE without us.  Do I make myself clear?"

 

I grab his wrist and try to remove my face but his hold is firm, almost painful.

 

"For once I agree.  It would not be wise to travel alone now my dear.  It would also, in my opinion, be best if we all slept in the same room as well.  The greater the magic signature the less likely of an attack."

 

That's when Lancer releases my face and he and I stare at Caster in shock. 

 

"There is no way I'm letting you share her bed!"

 

"I never said we had to sleep in it, though that would be the most prudent option."

 

"Did anyone bother to ask what I wanted?"  I ask in embarrassment only to have both men stare at me and say, "No!" at the same time.

 

"But it's MY ROOM!"  I yell.

 

"AND YOU ARE MY DAMN RESPONSIBILITY!!!"  Lancer yells back making me balk and my eyes go wide. 

 

"I never asked for that."  I say as tears suddenly fill my eyes.

 

"Yeah well neither did I!  It's not like you are a pleasure to deal with.  Hell, Rin was even better than you and she loved another man!"

 

The tears fall steadily then as my heart feels like it breaks in two.  All I hear is Caster say, "That's enough!  You don't need to be cruel."  It was too late for that though.

 

"Right.  I guess that's probably true.  I'll make sure to end this as quickly as possible so you can get your life back or....whatever your wish is."  Then I head to my room where I lock the door, as if that would even help in any way.


	12. Empty Spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Empty Spaces by Murelli
> 
> https://youtu.be/gQvHtXWlXDE

I regretted it the moment I said it.Regretted the anger that wasn't meant for her, the words that were a long dormant pain at my own misfortune, and the look in her eyes that told me everything I needed to know about where her heart lay and how brutally I was crushing it. It was easy to understand my reaction then when Caster's words hit already raw nerves, that pompous ass.I didn't need help realizing I had crossed a line I wasn't sure I would be able to crawl back across. 

 

"I can't believe you said that to her.How could you?That's cruel even for you."

 

"Shut up you sadistic Druid.What would you know about cruel?If you're so magnanimous why don't you go console her then since the two of you get along so well it makes me sick.Watching you two is like watching a virgin fawning over a man twice her age that clearly manipulates her emotions to get what he wants."

 

I could tell he wanted to retort but I was on fire and not about to relent.

 

"If I'm lucky I will have turned her off of us for good and she won't be interested in us at all.Then maybe you will have to deal with the rejection instead of flaunting your charisma as a coping mechanism for the real loss you feel."

 

I can't remember the last time I was this mad, especially at myself. 

 

"It's much easier just to watch the rejection on your face.  She didn't shun me and probably never will because unlike you I care about her on a much deeper level."

 

"You only care about her as deeply as you can thrust yourself inside her.  Once you've hit it you will leave her the same way you left all the others."  I spat as I glared at him.

 

I had expected him to quip back but all he did was stare at me curiously. 

 

"This isn't about me and my dalliances.....this is about......" then his eyes go wide.  "..... is about pushing her away so you don't have to watch yet another woman be taken by your arch nemesis isn't it?"

 

My face darkens as he hits the nail on the head.  The minute I had realized Emiya was here I had automatically begun to shut her out of my life.  Though I hadn't loved Rin, I had acquired a budding affection for her during that grail war.She had been cute, sassy, hard to handle, and sharp as a tac but ultimately in love with someone else.It had stung that she wanted that miniature archer over me.Hurt even more when I realized she wanted actual Emiya over Shirou as well, but of course she never said that I could just tell. 

 

Now I found myself face to face with another chance to be romantically humiliated and not just by myself but my rival as well.There was only so much rejection a man could take. 

 

"My my what a poor wounded puppy you are.If only you could learn to trust your instincts....."

 

That's when what sounded like a scream of terror came from the bedroom and all I could think about was my own stupidity yet again.

 

——————————————

 

Throwing myself on the bed, I curled up in a ball.  I had always though since watching Blade Works that Lancer had held some genuine attraction to Rin.  It was why I held such an unreasonable hatred for her.  If that was the type he was attracted to, I never stood a chance. 

 

As the tears streamed down my face, I clenched my eyes shut trying not to relive the look of anger and distaste on his face as he had mentioned how unappealing I was in comparison.It hadn't even mattered that Caster had called him out for being out of line, the truth was out and maybe now I could find a way to let go. 

 

Even if that was the case, it still hurt like hell right now in this moment.Tapping my earbuds that were still in my ears, I turned on Pandora to the next song, Empty Spaces by Minelli.As the song spilled quietly from my lips, tears fell from the corners of my eyes as I let the emotions in the song and my heart tear me apart internally. 

 

Tell me why you're crying

As I can see the faith in your eyes

And I feel that you'll be fallin'

Don't you know you're not alone now, no

 

Crying

Now I can see the faith in your eyes

And I feel that you'll be fallin'

Tell me where you wanna go

 

Sometimes you hide

You slide to empty spaces

Coz you don't know who you are

To find, to find the light

Sometimes you hide

 

Sometimes you search for places

Tryin to find out who you are

Just find, to find the light

Sometimes you hide

Sometimes you hide

 

And now the day is dawning

You gotta break the silence

Coz I, I don't wanna see you fallin'

Don't you know you're not alone now, no

 

Risin', you gotta break the silence

Coz I, I don't wanna see you fallin'

Don't you know where you wanna go

 

Sometimes you hide

You slide to empty spaces

Coz you don't know who you are

To find, to find the light

 

Sometimes you hide

Sometimes you search for places

Tryin' to find out who you are

Just find, to find the light

 

Sometimes you hide

Sometimes you hide

You slide to empty spaces

To find, to find the light

 

Sometimes you hide

Sometimes you search for places

Just tryin' to find the light

 

I gripped the sheets as the last words came out as a sob.Reaching up to tap them again, hoping to find another song that wasn't so depressing, I quickly sat up in confusion and slight fear. 

 

Pulling out my earbuds, I lay them on the bed and listened again.When nothing happened, I went to reach for them before a scratching sound came from under the bed.

 

Lying flat on my stomach, I inched to the edge and carefully looked down.When nothing moved and the scratching didn't come again, I gave a deep breath and lifted up the sheets.

 

That's when a small dark shape darted out from under the bed, jumped on top of my head and bent down to look into my eyes with deep inset red orbs. 

 

There was only one appropriate reaction and that was to scream like a crazed fan girl as I reached up and grabbed my most favorite Cú of all: Smolz.

 

It was inevitable that my scream would bring the boys scrambling into my room with the most frightened and then confused faces I had ever seen.  What they found was me hugging a disgruntled Smolz to my chest as I rocked back and forth squealing in delight as I nuzzled the top of his hood.  

 

As if things couldn't get any more random, he pointed his spear at the boys and spoke inside our heads. 

 

"So which one of you idiots made her cry?"

 

That's when Caster, still looking at us, pointed at Lancer who turned and growled at him. 

 

As I tried to stifle a laugh, Smolz squirmed out of my grasp, shimmied down the sheets and walked over to Lancer.Once he stood in front of him he glared at him......before stabbing him in the middle of the bridge of his foot with his spear causing the large man to howl and hop around. 

 

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU....."

 

That's when a very deep, dark growl escaped Smolz and the room went quiet.For someone so small a growl like that shouldn't be possible. 

 

"Come with me."He said directed at Lancer before turning to glare at Caster."And you!Keep your hands to yourself."He pointed at Caster who raised his hands in surrender before growling at him like a small cat and leaving the room with a sulking Lancer in tow. 

 

When they were out of earshot, Caster turned to me with a smile."You sure look happy despite summoning Chaladea's tinniest terror."

 

I smile a genuine smile at him before saying, "That's because I love Smolz.He's my favorite Cú next to Alter."

 

"Your favorite huh?What about Lancer?"He asks as he leans against the door frame and crosses his arms over his chest. 

 

That's when my smile turns sad and I pull my knees against my chest before resting my chin on them."Lancer loves Rin.He always has.I can't compete with that.He basically said so himself.You heard how disgusted he was with the idea of being around me.He is here because he is somehow bound, not because he wants to be." 

 

That's when Caster removes himself from the wall and comes to sit besides me."Do you really think that is true?" 

 

I look at him as I turn my head to lean on my cheek."I do.I also believe you love every woman you come across and are incapable of being in love with any."

 

He winces slightly."Incapable is such a strong word.I prefer to use incredibly emotionally selective."

 

I raise an eyebrow but say nothing. 

 

"Believe it or not it's just as true as Lancer's true feelings for you." 

 

I try not to blush but only succeed in turning my head away."His true feelings huh?I doubt he has any."

 

"Then you don't give him enough credit."He says as he collects my chin with his index finger and thumb, turning it so I look into his eyes."He is loyal to a fault when he believes in something and even more so when he has feelings mixed in."

 

My eyes begin to water and my lip quivers slightly as I try not to hope that Caster's words are right.I want to give a retort but suddenly find myself pushed back by a small hand as a spear is pointed at Caster's heart.

 

"WHAT.....DID I SAY......ABOUT TOUCHING?"

 

Caster gives a disarming smile as he leans back away from the point."I didn't I was just singing that ill begotten mutts praises that's all.No harm done."

 

Not removing the spear, Smolz looks at me and I nod, wiping the tears from my eyes.Seemingly convinced, he puts down his spear and looks at me. 

 

"You.Go fix things."He looks at me and points to Lancer who is leaning with his back to me against the doorframe outside my room. 

 

"BUT IT WASNT....!"

 

He jabs at Lancer. "FIX.IT!"

 

I furrow my brow and frown but scoot to the edge of the bed and leave the room heading to the living room without so much as a word to Lancer.


	13. No Love Lost

[No Love Lost by Laye](https://youtu.be/X0RzjmQPcVs)

No one really knew why we listened to a smaller, more belligerent version of Alter.  The other servants always raised eyebrows when he broke up fights and beat us senseless with his spear.  They were even more astounded when even Alter stood down against him because few willingly incurred the berserkers wrath.  

 

They didn't know what we knew being linked to him as the same conscious.  Midge was definitely not what he seemed.  He was actually Medb's first attempt at possessing Cú, an attempt that failed miserably, or so everyone thought.Before Medb got the grail, she created a homunculus of Cú that she harvested at the appropriate age to look like his current Lancer self.When the homunculus was deemed stable, she began trying to transform it with various dark magic into a version of Cú that would be her King.Sadly, being a queen who never did anything for herself besides acquire man servants via conquest, she misinterpreted several of the spells causing her once perfect replica to end up a rampaging, angry, stegosaurus armadillo hybrid named Small Cú.When she had finally realized her only way to get Cú was to win the grail, she decided to keep Small Cú as a pet of sorts. 

 

She, nor anyone else, had any idea that she had managed to infuse his blood with the tainted mud from the grail she had injected him with creating a Tear of Chaos essence that was embedded in the very magic fibers of his soul.How she got the remnants of a tainted grail was anyone's guess, but Medb was desperate to have Cú all to herself and as a result, had been able to acquire anything she needed to make her desire come true. 

 

So what is the Tear of Chaos and what does it do for our little friend that allows him to  chastise us and keep us from killing each other in situations where we all are together?  From what Midge understands, being the only one of us living with it, it is the embodiment of all of the worlds evil as it combines the fluids from the tainted grail with various dark Magic's. 

 

So how is his compact Alter self able to harness all this hate without ending up like Alter?  That traces back to his tattoos.  When Medb first created him, she attempted to seal him to her through......unnatural means.  In doing so, she ended up partially sealing his power by engraving his body with his modified reverse causality spear.  Unlike the other Gae bolg's present with Proto, Lancer and Alter, Midge's was successfully sealed by Medb in its natural state as the Red Spear of Death instead of the green one Proto has.  Worried he would turn on her in his hybrid state, she locked away his phantasm leaving him a very sharp red toothpick essentially that still houses elements of reverse causality, though not enough to damage anyone permanently. 

 

If his armor is removed, he is carved head to toe with sealing runes that no one has been able to release.  As a result, even we don't know how potent his true raw power is, but the language of the runes is ancient and from what Caster can glean, embodies extremely high level magic seals.  Midge showed us once a piece of his power.  That was the one and only time Alter went against him.  Since then, we have kept his power a secret and never questioned his authority again.

 

That being said, I willingly followed him into the living room to receive my punishment.  Sitting on the couch while he stood on the coffee table in front of me so he was eye level, he stared at me with those large red eyes accusingly until I caved by bowing my head in acceptance of my guilt.A guilt that is only enhanced by the intense despondency in his voice.

 

"You never think before you speak.Love isn't a war you can win by strength or courage of the body.You can't just run full force at it and demand it accept your terms."

 

I sigh heavily but say nothing. 

 

"Have you ever truly stopped to think about her, to think about what this is like for her, to think about how she might be feeling?"

 

My face turns red and I shake it side to side.

 

"I wish I could tell you why she is so important to this war, what her purpose is and how integral all of us getting along is but I can't.It is a knowledge I am forbidden from sharing and only have because of my connection to the grail."

 

I give a sharp disgusted laugh.  "So both you and Caster just leave me in the dark to follow my gut which has done nothing but make this worse....."

 

"Caster only thinks he knows.  The flows of time weaves many stories and the one he holds is only one of many possibilities.  Only I hold the truth, a truth that could release us from this servitude as easily as it could destroy us.  Which outcome prevails depends on you and your ability to reach your full potential."

 

That's when I look up with disdain in my eyes and meet his unwavering red gaze.  "And what potential is that pray tell?"

 

"Don't be stupid.  All of us know about the potential for a servant to be grailed once they reach max ascension.  Not a single servant has achieved it, but the potential is always there.  It isn't something that the grail can give you, but something you earn once you have reached a certain compatibility and progression with your Master.  Problem in this case is the Master isn't a mage."

 

"So is it even possible?"  I ask quizzically.

 

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.  The better question is, does everyone else against us have that potential and if so who is their Master not to mention where are they in the process?"  Midge sighs before slapping me with one hand to startle me.  "Get your head out of your ass and put your heart on your sleeve or so help me I will make your life hell until you do."

 

I glare at him.  "You say that like it's easy."

 

"It is idiot.  Why the hell else do you think Caster is here?  It's not just because we can't ascend without him.  Each one of us is the key to unlocking the final ascension.  Your job is to unlock the puzzle with her."  Then he points to the room where the weird edged piece of the puzzle that fits in the center somewhere I can't figure out sits.  "Caster WILL help you.  He may be a dick about it but he understands enough to help."

 

I raise a skeptical eyebrow but know better than to argue.  Midge just looks at me with sadness."You are so blindly loyal that you cannot see what is right in front of your face.You know nothing of the tiered war that is waging and sadly you will never be able to keep her safe if you cannot look past yourself and truly see what she is telling you without words. We also have no chance of winning if you cannot increase your bond level."

 

That's when midge hops down and walks halfway back to the room before turning and saying,  "You both need each other, but earning her trust and love will be even harder than the war ahead."Then he heads back to the room, expecting me to follow. 

 

 -------------------------------------------

 

Why the hell do I have to fix it?I'm not the one who started it.I grumble to myself before walking into the kitchen and pulling out a mug so I can make some green tea.I needed something to fidget with and nursing that would also allow me to avoid any unnecessary conversation or interactions. 

 

I drag out taking the cup to the water container, filling it with water, grabbing a tea bag and dunking it in before leaning against the counter and stirring it aimlessly with a pen I pulled from the small top drawer.I didn't want to look at him and it showed.....even though I knew he was leaning against the couch with his arms crossed across his chest as he looked at me with soft eyes.

 

We stood there several moments as if we were playing a silent game of chicken.Finally be broke the silence. 

 

"Why do you dislike me so much?"

 

"Why do you think you are so bad with women?"I still don't look up at him when I ask.Just stood there stirring. 

 

"To be honest, I have no idea."He says dejectedly as if he had never in all his life come to a solution and had given up hope. 

 

We go silent again until I purse my lip and interject, "I think I know why."

 

He winces slightly."Is that right?"

 

"I think so."I stir a few more times and take a sip, collecting my thought before I say, "You aren't honest with your true feelings like Caster is.Sure you tease women, but you aren't affectionate like he is.You don't make yourself a warm and welcoming presence.You are honest and loyal to a fault and sometimes that comes off as overbearing or pompous.You don't make a woman feel safe even if they know you will always protect them."I take another sip and finally look up to see the most priceless dumbfounded face plastered on his face. 

 

"I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but that's how I feel.That's why it seems like you don't genuinely love people or harbor any lasting affections."I take another sip and place the cup down before crossing my arms over my own chest trying to protect myself from this uncomfortable situation. 

 

"I don't hate you, I'm just not emotionally safe with you.You protect my body, not my heart.You couldn't give two shits about my heart."That's when I tear my eyes away and look out the glass door to the terrace."Thank you for taking your .....guardianship seriously.It's not unpleasant having you here, but it's better if we just accept that you and I will never be any more than we are now.Your ideal is a woman I can't be and my ideal.....is something that I can't have so...." I shrug before absentmindedly reaching back and touching the base of my neck lovingly ".....let's just try to be civil okay?" 

 

We stand there a few more moments and it's like he is frozen with that stupid look on his face which makes me sigh.I can't take this uncomfortable situation anymore.

 

"Thanks for listening.I'll try to make everything as easy as I can for you so your time here isn't unpleasant."Then I push away from the wall and head out to the terrace where a gentle breeze caresses my face ad they attempt to dry the tears that trickle down my cheek before they meet my chin.


	14. With Every Heartbeat

[Calmani & Grey | Every Heartbeat ](https://youtu.be/En13ZkT6kqk)

"There were at least 6 instances where you could have kissed her to shut her up and reassured her at the same time."Caster's voice resonated from the hallway as he walked into view, a look of disappointed disgust riddled over his features.

 

"Shut up man whore."I growled. 

 

He just shrugged before asking, "Tell me something younger brother.How is it you managed to bed Aife and conceive our son?She was a tough nut to crack, all puns intended, yet you managed to not only bed her but abandon her with child before acquiring Emer.Is that why your loyalty is so zealous sometimes?You feel the need to repent for creating and ending a life you could have avoided if you had just not given into my same wanton desires?"

 

If he had been close enough to hit I would have punched him hard enough to send him through the wall at the end of the hall."If you value that pretty face of yours ....."

 

That's when Caster sucks in air and jerks his leg as he looks down at Midge who has just stabbed him behind his knee. 

 

"Don't make me banish you both to recon duty.We have to play nice.Besides LANCER, I thought you were going to fix things."

 

"I tried." He grumbled before looking out at the figure on the terrace."She caught me by surprise and I wasn't sure how to respond."

 

"Looks like she has a verbal instead of tangible Gae bolg doesn't it."  Caster says snidely before jerking yet again as Midge stabs him in the foot this time. 

 

"You really are enjoying this aren't you False Lancer?"  I retort with a sneer. 

 

"It's just rare that I get to see you bested by anyone, let alone a woman.  I would have had her in bed in my arms at least as many times as she has jabbed you with that sharp little tongue of hers by now." 

 

"Caster."  Midge says sternly as he taps his foot and stares up at the Druid.

 

"I said I would, not that I have or will, though I don't see the harm in a friendly wager."  He walks over to stand next to Lancer who is still leaning against the couch. 

 

"I am not bartering for her body or affection."  I stare at him with a jealous look in my eye knowing he would have the upper hand. 

 

"When have you ever run from a fight little brother?"  Caster's lips curl up in a smile as his face moves to mere inches from mine.  "Or are you not the same man who chased down Hassan, battling him through the city until he ripped your heart out?  Is that when you lost your will to fight for what you love?  When you were forced to face your darkness and you cowered like the beaten dog you are?"

 

I wanted to retort.  I wanted to shove my spear through the soft skin under his chin so it pierced his brain and killed him instantly, but I couldn't.  Not because he was me. Not because we needed him.  Not even because she seemed to like him better.  I couldn't because he was right.  He was always right.  Him and that damn earth sense.  He was always the one to know me best and always the one I hated most.  Hated because I couldn't hide even if I wanted to. 

 

"I'm right aren't I?"  He leans back as he places one hand at his chin while caressing his lower lip with his index finger as the other hand rests at his elbow. 

 

I just turn from him and look out at the solitary figure isolated on the terrace.  I could feel her loneliness, feel her anger, feel her sadness.....and it broke my heart.  "How am I supposed to fix it in the middle of all this?" I spoke aloud.

 

"It's simple."  Caster replied with an air of superiority.  "All you have to say is the one thing you never are and mean it."

 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

The tears had dried by the time I heard the sliding glass door open.  Listening to the footfall, I could tell it was Lancer, not Caster, who had come to console me.  Part of me was sad, but that part also knew that accepting Caster's consoling would only mean I was running away from the real issues.

 

I didn't turn to look, allowing him to stop a few feet behind me before we hid in the silence created when two bodies collide without touching, like two magnets of the same charge.How I wanted him to touch me though.Touch me and mean it.Touch me and want it.Touch me and.....

 

"I'm sorry for......not being someone you can feel your heart is safe with."

 

It was the last thing I had expected so naturally I turned with a shocked expression before my face flat lined into an unamused 'nice try asshole' look as I saw Caster give a thumbs up before vanishing.  Sadly this look caught Lancer off guard as he thought it was aimed at him.

 

"You don't have to give me such a nasty look.  I was trying to apologize."

 

I sigh before saying in an exasperated tone, "That wasn't directed at you, it was directed at that asshole Caster who was watching us through the door but he is gone now.  Anyway, I have to admit I'm a little surprised by your apology.  Was that your idea or his?"

 

Lancer blushes as he searches for words.

 

"That's what I thought.  Thanks for trying but I'm not interested in fake sentiments."  That's when I head towards the door in an attempt to find solitude in my room.  I need to work on my story boards anyway so now would be a great time to find anything else to do but be near him.

 

Still fumbling for words when I pass, he follows me to my room.

 

"You know you really aren't being fair.  We both know I'm not good at this.  Just because it wasn't my idea, doesn't mean I didn't want...."

 

That's when I slam the door in his face.  "Go away Cu I don't need you."  It was a lie.  It was completely and entirely a lie.  In truth I needed him now more than ever, but I couldn't tell him that.  I couldn't tell him it could all be fixed if he just.....

 

That's when his hand grabbed my wrist as he materialized behind me.  "You're lying.  I can sense it.  I can smell the fear and taste the sadness."  Then he yanks me and I spin around to face him, fear and confusion in my eyes as my body presses against his.  The look in his eyes freezes me in place and the set of his jaw shows he means business.  "Tell me the truth.  Tell me what you are hiding."

 

"Let me go."  I say in a much weaker voice than I had aimed for as I try to yank my arm out of his iron grip but fail.  "What is it you want me to tell you?  There is nothing to say.  I'm not the person you want me to be and I can't fill the voids you have."

 

"What voids would that be?"  His voice is firm but not menacing.

 

"I can't......I can't be your Master.  I don't have any magic.  I also can't replace your wife."

 

He is silent a moment but his eyes go sad.  "I never said I wanted to replace her or my son.  That is a perception you created, not one I alluded to.  No one can replace them, nor would I want anyone to.  My heart will always be loyal to them and their memory, but that doesn't mean it isn't open to loving again or forming a bond with someone else."

 

I so badly wanted to believe that everything he said was being fed to him by Caster, but the look in his eyes and the strength with which he held me told me otherwise.  "If I heard right, you two ran into Emiya.  Maybe that means Rin is here.  If that is the case why don't we see if I can help you win her over.  That cold hearted bastard can't get emotionally out of his own way let alone...."

 

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP WITH THAT I DON'T WANT RIN!"  

 

His sudden admission startled me into silence, causing me to just stare at him wide eyed.

 

"Rin is in the past and she made her choice.  It was a fool's interest anyway, she was much too young."  Then he releases my arm and says much softer as he tucks some loose hair behind my ear, "I would much rather have a woman who challenges me and forces me to be a better person, forces me to see the things about me that need to change, and makes me live up to her expectations.  Even if she pisses me off all the damn time, I still......still want to be with her every moment of every day even if all she lets me do is protect her body as I try in vain to guard her heart as well."  

 

"You don't mean that.  You don't mean any of that."  I say in abject denial as I try to back away, but he wraps a hand behind me to rest it on the small of my back.

 

"I mean every word.  So why don't you stop fighting me and admit it."

 

"Admit what?"  I say as I try in vain to push against his chest with my hands and release myself from his grasp.

 

"Admit..." he says before pulling me against his chest so close that our lips are breaths apart "...that you are in...."

 

Then the door bursts open and Caster says in a stern voice, "Sorry to break you two up, but we have a visitor."

 

"Who is it?"  Cu asks with a glare.  "He obviously isn't an immediate threat if you have left him to come get me."

 

"That is where you are mistaken dear brother because you see this threat takes the form of someone few woman can resist and he is asking for an audience with his Queen."

 

Cu growls and his grip on me tightens.  "Queen huh?  What impertinent whelp has the audacity..."

 

"I think you should come see for yourself."

 

Lancer and Caster stare at each other a moment, before Lancer releases me and heads out the door.  "Keep an eye on her, I'll go deal with this asshole."  Then he walks past Caster and out to meet the cloaked figure in medieval garb standing with his hands resting on the pommel of his sword that is tip deep in the concrete floor.

 

Curious, I follow though I can't see the figure, who is blocked by Cu until we both get outside and I step to the side to see who Cu is going to meet.  As soon as my eyes land on the figure I gasp and Cu turns to look at me as I drop to a knee.

 

"Your highness, it is my greatest pleasure.  To what do we owe such an honor."  I say with bowed head as the figure pulls back their hood to reveal the golden locks of none other than Arthur Pendragon, my beloved King Of Summer. 

 

I can feel his soft gaze on me as he begins to walk towards me, but is blocked when Cu extends his arm, equipped with his spear, out to block him.  

 

"Not one step closer Saber."

 

He just turns and smiles at Cu.  "You seem to misunderstand Lancer.  I have come to collect my queen and though I am eternally grateful you have kept her safe until now, I would suggest you hand her over without a fight."

 

"Loyal dogs never relinquish their masters King of the Wasted Kingdom and I can assure you our Hound is no different.  Seeing as it is two against one, I would wager against your odds of successfully taking her by force."  Caster chimes in as he walks to stand behind me before lifting me up, making sure to leave a hand possessively at my hip as he plants his staff in the ground.

 

"Ah, so you thought it was just me."  Then Arthur snaps his fingers and Altria appears with her sword at Cu's neck.  "A king never leaves without his retinue Mage, though I admit we are still one short."  Then he glances at Altria.  "She is loyal as well, being the female version of me so I would recommend handing my would be Queen over before this gets....messy."

 

"I will do no such...."

 

That's when I step away from Caster and in a commanding voice say, "I will go on one condition."

 

"Whatever my lady wishes, if it is within my power to grant I shall."

 

"You may not uproot me from my home.  If you wish to visit me on civil terms I will allow it, but you will return me here where I belong until your gentlemanly intentions have been proved genuine.  Only then will I decide if I agree to your machinations. There will be no trickery and no forced hand.  You will respect my will as the generous King you are and make sure your retinue lays not a finger on mine as they too carry a special place in my heart."

 

That's when Arthur steps back and, with a hand to his heart, bows slightly.  "I agree with your request.  Would you be so kind as to accompany me for a short walk?"

 

I smile.  "Such walks must be chaperoned between two unmarried  individuals must they not your highness?"

 

He laughs lightly.  "You are correct my lady for I am a gentleman. Pick your chaperone then and let's be on our way."

 

That's when I walk towards the two men and place a hand on Lancer's arm, pressing down lightly so he removes the barrier between me and my dream king.  "Caster, if you would?"  I can feel the shock and betrayal Lancer feels, but also know in my heart that should something happen, Caster doesn't have the same weaknesses that Lancer does against Saber.  

 

Arthur then holds out his hand, which I take before being swooped up into a princess carry.

 

"Hold on tight my Queen, this will only take a moment."  Then the next thing I know we are bounding across the city headed for a quiet park not that far from my apartment.

 

\-------------------------

 

Before Caster follows, he puts a hand on the seething Lancer and says, "If she didn't love you she would have taken you with her."

 

Lancer jerks his head to retort in anger, but the genuine look in Caster's eyes halts his lips.

 

"She knows you are weak to Sabers.  That's why she picked me.  Trust me if Alter had been here she would have taken him, but he isn't so just hold tight and I promise I will keep her safe and bring her home."  Then he removes his hand and disappears before Midge's voice resonates in his head as he waddles out to stand beside him.  

 

"She knows what she is doing.  Trust her."

 

Then they both stare out into the city, waiting for her return.


	15. Adore You

[Adore You - Jasmine Thompson](https://youtu.be/fyG9La0PAsM)

I probably should have been more worried that Caster wasn't immediately behind us, but I knew our bond would lead him to me eventually.  At this moment, as my feet touched the soft earth of the hidden lovers alcove that was surrounded by tall bushes in an arc, all I could focus on was the agony of sliding out of Arthur's arms.

 

Long before there was Cú, there was a girl in love with a man who would be king.  She had dreamt of riding through the countryside of Camelot on a lovers chase as the man of her dreams made her his Queen in the most epic romance ever. 

 

That was when she believed in knights, innocent love and timeless romance.  When she believed that her dreams were possible and she would be someone's everything.  That dream had died a long time ago as a teenager after she stopped reading about Arthur and started living an adult life. 

 

Now those dreams were rushing back as that little girl, now a woman, was held in the arms of her beloved king a second longer than was descent as she looked into his beautiful sky blue eyes.

 

"My lady, if you would."  He said as he handed me his elbow and I took it as we went to sit on a nearby bench.  

 

"You are even more beautiful than an Andresian Rose lit by the fading sun as the rain from a previous momentary storm collects on its petals causing them to glisten like diamonds."  Arthur says as he takes my hand to kiss its back, our eyes never unlocking. 

 

I can feel a blush flash up my neck but stop as I hear Caster whistle in my head in surprise.

 

"Lays it on thick doesn't he."  He says in my mind.

 

"You boys could learn a thing or two." I reply back trying to keep my snide remark from my face with a shy smile.

 

"And to see you smile......it is like the sun kissing the moon as they meet on the horizon of a new day alighting the world in a twilight rainbow of color."

 

I tilt my head and look at him through partially hooded lids."It is baffling that anyone could fall out of love with you Arthur.You are radiant in your conviction and carry such a clarity to your heart that it's song rivals that of the very heavens."

 

It is his turn to blush and smile."It is my hope with you never to know love in its lesser forms.From the moment Merlin showed me your visage with his magic, I knew my Queen had come again and Camelot would be reborn.That is why I am here, to bring you..." he brushes my cheek with his knuckles before sitting up and sweeping his hand outward"....and this world into its rebirth as the Kingdom of Summer."

 

Drawn to the majesty and conviction in his voice, my eyes follow the sweep of his arm as if it would instantly change the world I hated so much into the one I had longed for in my youth. 

 

"Though it's technology far surpasses what my original kingdom had, it carries limitless potential."Then his eyes lock back on mine before he slides off the bench and kneels before me taking my hand again."Become my Queen as is for told.I will win the grail in your name and we will live in the kingdom you were always meant to rule."

 

He was so beautiful.He always had been.His face so youthful, his heart so true, his dreams so grande and his kingdom a legend that looking into his eyes brought me back to the myth my heart never let go of as page after page of his life turned with the butterflies I felt. 

 

Would it be so wrong to live a life with a man whose love I could truly lose myself in?I had no doubt Arthur would never leave me, never grow tired of me, never abandon me or leave me wanting.His love would resound in the fiber of my being and become the very breath I needed to survive.Was something so potentially powerful so wrong? 

 

"Would you like to see it?"He suddenly said with eyes sparkling as he rose to his feet.

 

"See what, Majesty?"I said with mild confusion. 

 

"What our kingdom will become once we succeed in this war."He said with a smile before I sensed a figure approaching from my left. 

 

That's when Merlin appeared and bowed slightly."My lady.It is a pleasure to finally meet you.  I am..."

 

"Hello Emrys.I should have known it would be you."I smiled lightly but my eyes held a critical look as they stare into his.

 

The mention of his less common true name caught him off guard for only a moment before he masked it with a flick of his wrist that sent a blue luminescent butterfly into the air."It has been so long since I heard that name, I myself had almost forgotten it.You are quite knowledgeable for someone not a mage."

 

"I am learned Hawk.  You are not the only predator with a thirst for knowledge."

 

That made the Druid smile with a sinister tilt to his lip as he ran a finger over its pliable flesh as if considering the layers behind my statement. "You are definitely more than adequate for completing our vision."  Walking towards me he holds out his hand.  "Take my hand and we will show you the glory that is our Modern Summer Kingdom."

 

As I reach my hand out tentatively, the head of Caster's staff forms a barrier between Merlin and I.  "What guarantee do we have that you will not feast upon her good nature like you tried to do not so many nights ago draoi luíonn?*"

 

That's when Arthur's once serene face turns cold as he shifts his gaze to Merlin.  "It would seem there is something you left out about your activities Merlin."

 

Unfazed by Arthur's change in demeanor, Merlin shrugged casually and looked at him with one eye open.  "I did not harm her only tried to retrieve her for you prematurely."

 

"Merlin."  Arthur's voice was a statement and command.

 

Pouting, Merlin crosses his arms and glared at Arthur.  "She was asleep.  I merely introduced her to her fantasy and went to pick her up myself."

 

That's when the sadistic eyes in the bloody pool returned and I began to shiver which drew Arthur's attention.  "Clearly she remains affected. I specifically told you not to meddle and yet here we are!  What am I to do if she fears me!"

 

That's when I come to my senses and speak up.  "I could never fear you Majesty.  You are a righteous man."

 

He turns to me and sighs, showing an immeasurable amount of relief.  "Please forgive Merlin, he means well though his mischief gets the better of him at times."

 

I turn to glance at him and the sneaky Druid just smiles innocently.  "I'll keep that in mind.  Now back to Caster's point.  I have no guarantee you will not attempt to ensorcel me like before.  That being said, I think it best I decline until there is a modicum of trust between us."

 

Arthur's mouth purses into a line but he nods.  "I understand.  Will you at least let me escort you home?"

 

That's when Caster swoops me up in a less then ladylike heft over his shoulder leaving me beating his chest and protesting. 

 

"Playtimes over Saber.  I'll make sure she gets home safe."  Then Caster gives one final stare down to Merlin before bounding off with me into the retreating daylight. 

 

—————————

 

When we get back, Lancer is still waiting where we left him. 

 

"Told you she would be safe little brother.  Now if you will excuse me, I'm gonna see if there's anything I can make for dinner."  Then he heads inside as I make an elaborate show of straightening out my clothes as Lancer watches me wordlessly.

 

When my eyes finally met his, I am startled to see what looks like insecurity swirling in his eyes. 

 

"I'm fine Cú really.  He didn't hurt me.  He never would.  Not for any reason."

 

"Unlike me you mean."

 

My eyes go wide and I jump slightly at the accusation.  "I never said that."

 

"You didn't have to.  I heard the whole conversation through my link to Caster.  He is quite the charmer.  Much more refined and elegant than me."

 

I squint one eye scrambling for a grasp on this spiraling situation.  "He's a king from a romantic myth, of course he is.  There isn't a medieval fan girl out there who isn't in love with Arthur."

 

"Are you in love with him?"  He asks bluntly.

 

I have to catch myself from saying yes outright because that isn't true.  "I love the idea of Arthur, I always have.  It's much deeper than any other concept of love I have ever had.  It was my first love of something fantastical so it carries a special place in my heart."

 

Cú just stares and says nothing. 

 

"Meeting him was a dream come true.  Nothing can change that." 

 

"So what was meeting me?" 

 

His eyes carried a weight I wasn't prepared to carry.  It was now my turn to stare with my mouth wide open and I realized it was my turn to weigh the odds.  Do I confess or do I lie?"

 

Closing my mouth I sighed and closed my eyes, counting to 3 before opening.

 

1......

 

2........

 

3.......

 

"It was like finding the love I always knew would never let me fall." I somehow manage to say as a gentle breeze catches my hair.  I am afraid to open my eyes.  Afraid to find he isn't there.  Afraid...

 

"Is that so."  He says with a sultry tone before my eyes open at the same time his body presses against mine and his hands move to lock behind my back.  "Then I guess you were really addressing me that night we met..." my eyes go wide and I try to resist as his lips close in, but my plight is futile "and you called me Mo grá". He whispered in my ear before his lips kissed it lovingly and I lost all sense of reality. 

 

 

* draoi luīonn = Druid of lies


	16. Version of Me

[Version of Me by Sasha Sloan](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pbLWdhqLW8M)

"Don't let him take too many liberties or he will be in your lap every chance he gets."I hear Caster say in my head before my brain literally blacks out, yanking me back to the present.

 

A present where I am pressed against the man that embodies the entirety of my sexual desires as his lips sensually caress my ear causing panic spawned from insecurity to flood through me.

 

"Cú...." I say as I try to push against him "Cú let go.....Cú please......please stop....." My voice far too breathy for the commanding tone I had intended. 

 

I could feel him smile against my ear before the bridge of his nose tucks under my jaw and runs along its edge, tilting my head back slightly until it's tip propped it up almost completely vertical, exposing my neck to him. 

 

"Begging only makes it worse.You have to know that right?I can feel your pulse elevate as your heart beats faster."

 

"That would be anyone's reaction in this situation Cú.Now let me go."I try to yank my hips back as a I press against his chest, but the minute my fingers lay flat on the solid ripples of his body, I groan slightly, pressing my hips in the complete opposite direction, towards him. 

 

"So cute when you struggle.I could get used to you squirming against me."He whispers again in my ear causing a slight whine to escape......before all feeling is gone and drop my chin to see Cú walking towards the door. 

 

"What just......". I asked out loud to myself not expecting Caster to answer in my head.

 

"Don't worry princess I just told him if he had any hope of winning your heart he should do as you ask seeing as his new rival would never have done anything so audacious as forcing you against your will.That seemed to bring him to his senses."

 

"His ri.....val?"I ask in confusion before it clicks."Oh you mean Arthur."

 

"That's right.He wasn't too happy to have me butt in but it got him to back down and cool off a minute.Maybe even put things in perspective."

 

"Right....". I say, completely unsure if I was really bothered by how forward and affectionate Cú had been.

 

I'm stood there a few more minutes sorting myself out before Caster's familiar tenor chimes in my thoughts again.  "Why don't you come and eat."

 

Looking inward, I realize how good of an idea that is seeing as the last time I ate anything remotely descent was.......yeah.

 

Once inside, I can't help but stare at Caster who is clothed only in the bottom half of his robes and his black sleeves, remaining topless except for my CLEARLY too small apron.  His hair is also collected in a messy man bun at the nape of his neck and there is a gentle sheen on his skin from the heat pooling around the kitchen. 

 

"Holy shit."  I say in my head as my eyes travel over his shoulders and down his back.

 

 

 

Least I thought it was my head but by the cheeky smile and wink he gave me as he looked back over his shoulder I realized I wasn't alone in my thoughts. 

 

"Enjoying the view princess?  Just be carful you might make someone jealous."

 

I blush and quickly turn away......dragging my eyes from the flame into the fiery jealousy of Lancer's. 

 

Even as I feel my face redden, I can't tear my eyes away from his until Caster gently takes my arm and guides me to the couch where he sets a plate down on the coffee table in front of me before pressing gently on my shoulders so I sit down. 

 

"Let me know if it needs anything."  He says with a triumphant smile as his hands rest on his hips.

 

That's when my eyes finally focus as they look down at the food placed in front of me.  I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the smell of an actual balanced meal wafted into my nostrils and my stomach growled.

 

Stabbing the nearest piece, I bend down to take a bite but a dark blur comes into my peripheral and I find my fork absent of its contents as the profile of a chewing Smolz materializes on the table.

 

"Why you little shit!"  Caster growls at Smolz who ignores him and faces me with his mouth wide open causing an amused laugh to escape Lancer who is leaning on the wall to my left.

 

"THAT WASN'T FOR YOU!  IF YOU WANT SOME JUST ASK!"  Caster snaps again causing Smolz to give me dramatic pleading emoji eyes. 

 

I can't help but laugh and stab another piece that I hold out for him and he takes happily. 

 

"DON'T PLACATE HIM HE ISN'T HELPLESS!"  Caster says with mild frustration.

 

"He's the cutest out of all of you though and deserves all the love and kindness he wants."  My voice is a teasing challenge as my eyes turn mischievously to face Casters' consternation. 

 

Caster just looks on in shock as I take the opportunity to put a bite in my mouth as Smolz chews his.

 

As the intense flavors cover my pallet, I can't help but let out a sigh and soft moan of pleasure at the taste and perfection present in just one bite.

 

"I can see why you stole some you adorable tyrant."I swivel the fork towards me as I stick my curved index finger under Smolz' chin and rub gently."His cooking really is amazing."Then I drop my hand, pick up the plate and lean back so I hold it on my lap effectively claiming the plate for myself.An act that causes abject disgruntlement and vocal protest from Smolz as he starts growling and barking at me, which makes me giggle and almost choke. 

 

"Sorry cutie, this is just too good."I stab another piece "It's just too good to.....". Before the last word escapes my lips, Lancer's right hand comes to rest next to my hip while his left one rests on my knee so he can lean in close and take the unsuspecting morsel from my fork slowly, staring into my eyes the entire time he does it. 

 

Knowing he would catch me off guard, he even goes so far as to chipmunk the piece he took before reaching his tongue out and slowly licking the fork.An act that has me blushing and wide eyed in minutes before he leans back and chews his piece as well. 

 

After an exaggerated display of assessing the food, he swallows and says, "Not bad.Mine's better though.Once you put mine in your mouth you will never want anything from anyone else again."

 

That's when the room goes silent as everyone stares at Lancer, who is oblivious to his verbal faux pas. 

 

"You really are an idiot you know that right?"Caster finally says to Lancer as I look anywhere but at him. 

 

Lancer turns and looks at Caster affronted only to slowly shift to a horrified and embarrassed look seconds later.If I had to guess, Caster was enlightening him to his choice of phrasing.

 

When he turns to look at me, he notices that I am slowly being scaled by a very persistent hungry Smolz.It isn't until the midge is finally seated in my lap with his mouth open, that Lancer walks over and grabs him by the scruff making him wriggle and growl aggressively. 

 

"For fucks sake Midge let her eat!"He growls, before midge manages to swivel on top of his arm and bite Lancer's thumb, making him curse and drop the small purple pain in the ass. 

 

When Smolz' feet hit the ground he goes to launch towards the couch, but I have already risen and begun walking to the sink to wash my dishes. 

 

"Thank you for dinner mo neamh.It was amazing, even if I had to share it."

 

Caster, who had been watching the doom squad fight with his arms crossed as he leaned against the kitchen island, turned with a soft smile and said, "It was my pleasure.I hope you let me do it more often." 

 

Placing my dishes in the dish washer to run a load later, I turn and smile back."I would love that.Now if you don't mind, it's late."That's when I walk towards him and place a hand on his chest before getting on my tip toes to kiss his cheek softly."I'm off to bed.It's been a long day."

 

"Of course."He reaches a hand out and caresses my cheek with the palm side of his hand."Don't supposed you need a body pillow do you?"He winks and the room goes silent before he says in my head. "I dare you."

 

My eyes sparkly and the barest hint of a smile creeps into the corner of my lip."I would love one.Thank you for the offer."Then I turn to walk towards my room as Caster follows behind placing a hand on my lower back.


	17. Keep Me Up

"Like hell you are."Lancer growled before reaching down to grab Smolz' skull and fling him at the back of Caster's head. 

 

Not quite quick enough to dodge as he was partially preoccupied with running his hand down the lithe back of the woman in front of him as he tried not to gaze at her ass, Smolz smacked face first into the Druid's skull causing his arms and legs to fly out in front as if he had run full force into a tree.After the initial force of the impact wore off, Smolz grabbed onto Caster's hair before sliding down his body as Caster cursed under his breath and hunched over in a feeble attempt at sympathy.

 

"Such a brute that Lancer."He said as I turned around and frowned while I looked him over."Maybe if you kiss it and make it better..."He insinuated mischievously as he knelt down and placed his hands at my hips before gently guiding me to him.

 

"Haven't you harassed her enough you degenerate pervert!"Lancer barked as he came up behind Caster, grabbed his rat tail and dragged him back away from me."This lech just wants to get in your pants.How 'bout you head to bed and I'll deal with him."

 

That's when I turn on him in frustration and say, "What the hell do you care if he does come with me?It's not like you want anything to do with me so excuse me for wanting a little comfort!How about you mind your own business and let me sleep with who I want!"

 

First shock and then anger ran across his face.  "Now listen here you..." forgetting he still had Caster by the hair, Lancer starts walking towards me as he drags him behind until Caster yells at him to let go.When he turns to snap at Caster for being the cause of all this, Smolz scurried over and jumped up at me.The immediate reaction was to reach out and catch him, which I do, only to have him point at the door to my room and say, "Let's go."

 

I sigh and nod, but turn to go.It isn't until I am in my room with the door closed that I hear Lancer growl and yell "DAMNIT YOU MEDDLESOME DRUID!"

 

Smolz just shakes his head and hops out of my arms before scurrying over, then onto the bed.Not resisting the urge to follow his lead, I to crawl into bed and snuggle up with him.Soon he is purring and I am lying there with a sad smile.

 

————

 

"DAMNIT YOU MEDDLESOME DRUID!"I bark, my fingers interchangeably rubbing back and forth across my skull with enough force to create heat against my skin.

 

"To be honest, Smolz is probably the best of all of us for her to sleep with." Caster says as he ambles up, running his fingers through his abused hair once he is fully erect. 

 

Turning on him with mulled anger, I retort."I'm not sure how that's true seeing as he is a one trick pony when it comes down to it."

 

That's when Caster looks at the wall that separates us from her room thoughtfully as he plays absentmindedly with his hair, his eyes slightly hooded."Under normal circumstances yes, but something about their magical signatures together tells me that around her he isn't as unstable."

 

I raise an eyebrow at him quizzically but he just continues staring so I go to lay down on the couch instead.Once comfortable on my back with my head nestled in a pillow and my fingers intertwined on my chest, my mind begins to ponder Caster's words. 

 

I had not had a chance to defend her against anyone like Caster in combat so it was hard to say if I noticed a difference in my mana pool, strength or regen rate.Never the less, if I really looked inward there were moments where I had felt I had more effectively used my mana and gifts as if they had been honed to a finer point when she was around.

 

"Beginning to see the effect she has on us little brother?" Caster's voice rips me from my thoughts as he faces me with a slight smile as I turn one eye to look at him with as much of a dismissive look as I can give.

 

"Though not a Maser by magical standards, I would have to say she is more of a harnesser or siphoner of mana, effectively enhancing it through her connection to us via her necklace."

 

"That doesn't explain Smolz."I say as I sit up and rest my arms along the back of the couch. 

 

"Nothing has ever truly explained Smolz.He is the perfect anomaly just like her."

 

That's when I turn and look at her door with thoughtful concern."How can I protect something I know nothing about?" 

 

I wasn't really looking for an answer, but Caster being the meddlesome asshole he is just had to give his two cents. 

 

"You start by following your heart mutt.Dogs like you should give love selflessly, much like Midge.Now it helps he is small and cute, but if you would cut out the sarcasm or at least water it down I'm sure you would see immediate results."

 

I turn back and give hm the 'fuck you asshole' half squinty eyes to which he just laughs softly.

 

"I'll tell you the same thing I told her.I dare you."

 

That's when I smirk and get up, a sudden rush of confidence filling me."Dare me huh?You know I love a good challenge."

 

"Let's see if this challenge loves you back."He says with a shooing motion of one hand.

 

"Prepare to be jealous."I flash a grin and he shakes his head but says nothing as I turn and head to her door. 

 

Though such a short distance, each step seems to drain my confidence which makes me curse inwardly.By the time I am at the door I have to convince myself to reach out and grab the door knob.Once I do and my fingers are about to brush the metal, the door swings open and I am face to face with the heart of my insecurities.

 

"Oh!Um...did you need something?"

 

For a second my mind goes blank as she stares at me confused. Rubbing the back of my head with my hand I stumble over the next few seconds. 

 

"Well I just...I mean Caster wasn't...and Smolz should really not take advantage..."

 

Then I sigh in defeat as she covers her mouth trying not to laugh.

 

Lifting my head I say more matter of factly, "Listen, I would feel better if you let me stay in here until you fell asleep.There are just too many...disturbances and I'd feel better knowing you were..."

 

That's when her finger presses against my lips effectively silencing me before she drops it and takes my hand to guide me into the room. 

 

"It's ok Cú I get it. You would hate my admirer to get the jump on you right?" She says teasingly.

 

"Yes I mean...wait what!"I jerk back startled and she laughs causing Smolz to growl and sit up rubbing his eyes before glaring at Lancer, hoping off the bed and going into the living room.

 

"Seems like you are already winning out against the competition."She smiles and squeezes my hand before releasing it and going to sit on the edge of the bed. 

 

Suddenly I find myself at a loss, blushing like an idiot as I stand there staring at her. 

 

She stares back a moment before patting the bed and saying, you don't have to like me to protect me.  I'm not asking for romance but I also won't be able to sleep if you just stand there staring."

 

Turning my head down and to the side slightly embarrassed I start to say, "It's fine I can just...."

 

That's when Cater's voice rings loudly in my head with a finality he never uses.  "You fucking continue that bullshit sentence about dematerializing to watch over her and I will shove this staff so far up your ass..."

 

That's when my face goes redder, my eyes bulge slightly and my lip purses.  "But I thought you said...". I try to snap back but he doesn't let me finish.

 

"Does she look like you are forcing her?  Don't be an idiot."

 

That's when I glance up to see she is staring at me with a curious look on my face.  Standing up straight I take a deep breath before clearing my throat.  "Right.  I'll just go lay on the other side on top of the covers."

 

She watches as I walk over stiffly to the other side and lay down with my fingers gets linked on my chest as I stare ONLY at the ceiling.  I hear her give a slight laugh and feel her shift before she begins to breathe steadily.  After a few seconds she says, "Good night Cú.  Thanks for staying with me."

 

Without thinking I go to speak but get blasted by Caster again. 

 

"STAFF UP TOUR ASS.  You say it's your job and she will throw you out."

 

I clamp my mouth shut."Then what the hell do I say!"

 

I can hear the eyeroll he is giving me in his tone as he replies."Tell her 'It's my pleasure'."

 

I can feel myself grow even redder in the face at how simple it all is and how stupid I must sound.Closing my eyes briefly I turn and look at the back of her before saying, "It's my pleasure."

 

I clearly wasn't the only one surprised by the gentleness of my voice that was laced with slight hesitancy because she turned around and looked at me like I had two heads before laying on her back and staring at the ceiling as her own face began to redden. 

 

I lay there a moment longer surprised at how well that worked before realizing it was making her uncomfortable.Turning back so I lay on my back, I closed my eyes hoping that would remove some of the awkwardness.Instead I suddenly felt an uneven pressure against my side as her face nuzzled against my shoulder as her body pressed completely vertical against mine.If she hadn't told me not to open my eyes when she did, I would have ruined the entire moment.

 

"Can we just lay here like this, with our eyes closed?I'd like to believe for just a minute that..."

 

When she didn't continue, I asked, "Believe what?"

 

I could feel her heart begin to race as her hand balled into a fist against my ribs.Whatever she wanted to say clearly bothered her, but I couldn't force her to tell me. 

 

"You could.If you kissed her she would tell you everything."Caster mused in my mind, which caused me to look down nervously at her to see if she heard, which she hadn't.

 

For a second as her heart continued to race I considered it.I couldn't deny being attracted to her despite our constant emotionally turbulent relationship, but something just didn't feel right.Instead I reached my free hand up and began running it down her hair. 

 

Instantly her breathing stopped and then resumed at a much more relaxed pace.As my hand continued to stroke her hair, I slowly felt her body give in to sleep.When she finally went into deep sleep, I leaned in and kissed the top of her head. 

 

Within a second of my lips touching her hair a searing pain shot down the base of my neck between my shoulder blades.When I reached back between the pillow and my neck to touch it, the spot felt warm, but the skin wasn't damaged.Pulling my hand to my face, I didn't see any blood so my confusion only deepened.I would have to get Caster to look at it in the morning, but until then I would lay here and enjoy this precious moment where I could let myself believe everything Caster said really could come true.


	18. The Plots of Kings and False Crowns

[Lauren Aquilina - King (Lyrics)](https://youtu.be/dS5GfL9F7L4)

 

"So The Bear and his miscreant mage are here as well are they."A mysterious male tenor says with bemused sarcasm laced with arrogance and disdain from the shadows of the before mentioned underground cell where the male captive stands once again chained to the floor.  "What deal did he have to make I wonder?  At least Uruk maintained its monetary wealth with my unsightly demise, unlike his kingdom which festered from within due to its incestuous ideology and rampant betrayal." 

 

"I do not know your highness."  The captive said in as unassuming as a voice as he could to avoid another beating.  "All I could tell is that he promised the woman Camelot's revival in the modern era and that he would make her his queen."  The captive then swallowed hard, splitting his severely chapped lips as he pursued them together before speaking again. "There did seem to be, however, some disdain between Merlin and Caster Cú by the way interacted.  It seems the incubus used his magic outside the parameters of his contract with Arthur which upset the king immensely.  It looks like Arthur genuinely has feelings for the woman or wishes to, but it is not clear why or how it relates to Merlin's interaction with her since this was not their first encounter."

 

The male tenor makes a dismissive sound before engaging the man.  "I guess I will keep your mongrel ass alive a little while longer shitty priest, but I assure you...should you fail me Kirei Kotomine or prove worthless I won't hesitate to rip your heart out and put it on ice.  There is enough technology in this world to store it until I need it to fuel the grails blood sacrifice.  Your body isn't necessary." 

 

The priest bows his head in supplication. "I am fully aware of my role in this war King of King's. I would never dream for a second that the all-powerful Gilgamesh would ever honor anything but abject loathing for  a man..."

 

"Insect,"  Gil interjects.

 

"...insect such as I."  The priest's voice remains monotone as he stands stock still. 

 

"Good.  Make sure you don't forget it."  Gil affirms before calling out to the darkness, his eyes still boring into his captive.  "Caster!"

 

Within seconds the mage version of himself materializes next to him. 

 

"Must you be so base when you address me?  Historically speaking my reign outlasted yours, was more prosperous than yours, and I was more beloved by the people."  He snarkily stated.

 

"Don't be insolent mage.  We both know my power is far greater.  You wouldn't have lasted a second against Enki whereas I almost deflected my entire treasury with no victor."

 

Caster remained silent but glared at Archer Gil all the same.

 

"Besides, it was I the grail summoned not you and without me, you wouldn't be here." Archer let that sink in a second before speaking again."Now be a good boy and go deal with that impetuous mage.I need to know if he is working at near godlike potential like I am or if he is somehow capped.It would be better if he was capped and not at full strength..." Gil trails off deep in thought.Caster stays a moment longer before dematerializing, leaving the king alone with his thoughts as the priest shuffles up against the closest wall.Out of sight out of

mind. 

 

———————

 

 

"That ill-begotten king, always too ambitious for his own good."Merlin muses as he sits next to the lifeless fire covered in the same ash that coated the long-dead kingdom of Camelot in his wooden chair carved in the shape of Yggdrasil. Even when it had deteriorated beyond nothingness, Merlin continued to stay in the desolate wasteland as it had been his lifeblood, his dream and one he had every intention of using Arthur to revive in this grail war.Now, as in every other time he wasn't at his kings side, he returned to his study and his precious lodestone, a six foot tall magically suspended crystal that acted as his visual conduit to the outside world via the mental carbon copies man left behind with every thought they had since thoughts rode on the same wavelengths as time magic seeing as they were visual histories of current events recently passed.

 

Through the crystal, he watched Gilgamesh plot to quell Arthur via Merlin himself, which caused the Druid to laugh.Of course, he was at his full godlike strength.He had bartered Arthur's very kingdom not anything that would limit him when he accepted the grails call, for it was him, not Arthur, that the grail had summoned despite what the king thought. Arthur was just a means to an end like he always had been.One Merlin loved but didn't treasure more than his own ideals.Man was a pestilence in its current state and only the Kingdom of Summer lead but a shining Radiant like Arthur could turn it around. 

 

"Looks like another summoning is in order,"Merlin said to no one before rising from his chair."A little lover's quarrel should set that pesky Caster straight." Then Merlin snapped his fingers and a shackled female Drow elf, leftover from the Elven age, that had been starved and was on the brink of death appeared from the dungeons in front of him. "You shall now serve your purpose princess.Long live the King."

 

Then Merin's hand went into her chest as gasps and bloody gurgling sounds choked her vocals.Feeling around her heart for fun. enjoying her suffering and the beating of her fear-stricken heart in its dying moments, he finally grabbed the muscle and yanked it out still beating.With her life outside her body, the Drow crumpled before turning into shimmering dust.Merling then drew the rune for life on the ground with the dripping blood from the now lifeless heart before chanting, *"Bhon dorchadas as duirche ris an rìoghachd thrèigte/ Le fuil nan creutairean agus beatha nan daoine a thuit/ Èirich bho do thearmann truaillichte agus èirich a-rithist mo rìgh/ Mo dhùthaich mo dhùthaich mo ridire."

 

With that, the floor glowed a few moments before a female figure stepped out clad in dark armor. "I take it it was you who summoned me in this form?" She asked in a dispassionate alto.

 

"That it is my lady, seeing as your male self is already alive and plotting the revival of our kingdom,"Merlin replied.

 

"I see."Her voice acknowledging but with no emotion."Then take me to him."

 

Merling bowed."As you wish my lady."Then before her next breath, they had apparated away l;leaving the death of Camelot again in the hands of ash and cinders.

 

——————————

 

**From the darkest abyss to the forsaken kingdom/With the blood of the ancients and the intents of the fallen/ Rise from your tainted sanctuary and rise again my king my country my earth my knight my Lancer.


	19. Awen of the Three Rays: Femininty

I woke up the next morning with an unnatural weight on my chest.It wasn't preventing me from being able to breathe, but it was making me uncomfortable enough that I woke up wanting to move. Lifting my head, I opened my eyes enough to see. which proved to be a very large mistake on behalf of my heart.

 

Not two nose lengths away was the face of Smolz whose large red eyes glared at me unblinking.Turns out he was flat on his stomach like road kill waiting for me to get up.As soon as our eyes met, his tail swished back and forth and he made an unthreatening growling sound.Regardless of how harmless the whole thing actually was, no one wakes up smoothly with two huge eyes staring at them.

 

"Good Morning Smolz.I take it I need to get up? Turning towards the clock that should

Be on my nightstand, I attempt to check the time but frown as all I see is an empty spot where the alarm should be.Rolling on my side, taking a disgruntled Smolz with me, I look over the edge of the bed to see the clock unplugged on the floor.

 

"What in the hell?" I unintentionally ask out loud.

 

"It was loud and obnoxious so I ended its life by swatting it on the floor.Unfortunately I couldn't go back to sleep so I positioned myself on top of you in hopes of either waking you or obtaining a new level of comfort so I could sleep." Smolz said half through a yawn.

 

Flicking my wrist to readjust my watch so I could read the time, I glanced down to see I was into the 'holy shit get up now' snooze cycle of my alarm had it gone off which makes me sigh. "Thanks for being uncomfortable you little trouble maker." I reach out and grab his cheek, pinching it slightly before sitting up, flipping the covers back and sliding out of bed. 

 

It wasn't until the cold air hit my body that my mind snapped to attention.Looking around frantically I was met with Smolz scurrying under the blankets now that he had the bed to himself and nothing else.Frowning, my shoulders fell a little.Did he really stay the night with me or just get up and leave as soon as I fell asleep? Mentally shaking my head I decided to dress and worry about it later.I had to get to work and the rest would have to wait.

 

Checking one last time in the mirror, I open the door to the bedroom only to be assaulted with the freshly brewed smell of heaven.  Smiling in sensory extract as my body begins to sway on a sub cellular level, I close my eyes and hum. 

 

"Now that is how I would have you waking up every morning."

 

My eyes shot open as my face turned red and pivoted to look at the devilish grin on Caster's face.   

 

"Your coffee is ready.  Heading out?"

 

I nod as I walk up to the island in the kitchen and take the coffee that is the only thing standing between me and an alternative version of my perfect man. 

 

"I have to go to work.  I'll be back later though; in time for dinner.  Can you all behave that long?"

 

That's when I feel something scuttling up my leg, which almost gives me a heart attack. Looking down I see Smolz climbing up my side before coming to sit in between us and helping himself to my coffee. 

 

I just look at him with that delicate balance between utter confusion and hysterical laughter where something is so baffling it makes you stop that second before you break out laughing. 

 

"I'm sure we will manage."  Caster says as he grabs Smolz by the scruff, causing a series of angry spinning growls to escape the tiny Alter.

 

Unable to hold back any longer, I burst out laughing as tears well in my eyes. "Just try to be good." I reach my hand towards Smolz and rub his tummy with my index and thumb which instantly quiets him.

 

"Damn midge gets all the love."

 

Hearing the mild disappointment in Casters voice, I finish my cup and walk around the island to kiss him in the cheek.  "The same

goes for you.  Try not to fight with Lancer while I'm gone."

 

"Oh you don't have to worry about that." His smile is toothy and overly pleasant. "He's coming with you today. Said something about needing to know more about your personal life so he knew better how to protect you." Caster just shrugged at my bewildered look. "He should be right outside."

 

———————

 

As much as he hated to, Cú had no choice.  With all the strange personages here for the grail war, one of which was Merlin, there was no telling what foul magic was afoot.  Rising from the bed, he made sure she remained sleeping before dematerializing and materializing in the living room; an act that earned him a curious look from Caster who was seated reading on the couch. At least until he saw the look on Lancer's face.

 

"Something wrong brother?"

 

"I'm not sure." Cú's frustrated voice mimicked the aggressive rubbing of the back of his neck where the pain had originated from. "I need you to look at something."

 

"I'm not checking you for diseases if that's what you are asking. That's between you and her."

 

"That's not what I'm asking you pervert!" Growling through clamped teeth as his eyes seethed.

 

Caster just raised his hands in submission.  "What is it then."

 

Cú walked over, hand still on his neck, and sat down next to his Magi self, bending over to expose his neck. 

 

"Something happened while we were in there and I can't explain it."

 

Casters smirk poured from his words, "Well you see brother when a man and a woman.."

 

"That's not what I meant!" He growled out again.

 

"Fine, fine I get it." Hiding his amusement behind his half hearted smile.  "What am I looking at?

 

"Because it is on the back of my neck I can't see it, but last night when I kissed her head there was a searing pain but no blood.  The pain had traveled in a straight line but ended almost as soon as it began."

 

"I see.  Well let's have a look shall we?"

 

Cú nodded and released his hand.

 

There was silence several moments as Caster ran his fingers over the back of Cú's neck in a strange pattern.  Intermittently he would feel a heat radiate from the spot the pain had come from earlier, but nothing seemed to alarm Caster or at least not enough to say anything.

 

When he could no longer stand this strange intimacy between them, Cú sat up and glared at Caster.  "Well?"

 

"It would seem, dear brother, that there is definitely magic at work beyond our understanding, though I find no trace of if being malicious."

 

"So what is it then?"

 

"It would seem you have activated a hidden rune placed on your person, though only part of it."

 

Cú's lips form a solid line as he holds back his frustration at being toyed with. "And which rune is that?"

 

"The rune of unity otherwise known as The Awen of the Three Rays, though only one ray has been activated."

 

Confused, Cú presses on. "And the activated one?"

 

"The hardest to grasp." Caster says leaning back as he crosses his arms over his chest in thought.  "Femininity.  Activating it would have required you to tap into her, not your, essence of the female as portrayed by Gaia.  It means you would have grasped her female essence in its purest form, beginning the binding of one comprehensive existence between man and woman, light and dark, mana and aether.

 

Caster had no idea what that meant though in terms of its application here.  Though the grail

had released its intent to him in more detail, there had been no mention of a duality to the unification of souls. 

 

"If I had to guess I would say that this bond connects you on a spiritual level while the bond of the grail bonds you physically and emotionally.  It could be a sign post marking your connection as you ascend through Wisdom, Love and Truth.  It could also be a spell that binds your essences and allows you to better tap into the others mana source.  It is too hard to say with all the potential meanings for the symbol coupled with all the unknowns of this grail war.  I would just keep an eye on it and when it changes let me know so I can make sure it's not harmful."

 

Cú nodded and rose, glancing down the hall before frowning and walking out onto the balcony.  There way no way to know all the nuances of the war but what he did know was that this time he had no intention of losing.  He would face it all head on with no regrets.  Not because losing meant he would cease to be, not

because he was embroiled in vengeance, not even because he had personal scores to settle.  He would do it to be free and to give her at least a piece of what she was looking for even if the piece she may want she couldn't keep.


	20. Be 2 Be

He had spent the rest of the night sitting outside holding watch.  It's not that he sensed he needed to to keep her safe, he felt he needed to because it was the safer option.  If what Caster said was true, there was some ancient magic at play and he liked none of it.  Having only lightly dabbled in runes, Cú knew enough not to light himself on fire unless the situation required.  Shuddering internally at the thought, his mind started wandering to that fateful night.

 

Rin.  At the time he had thought her willful, arrogant, and misinformed of her own skill as well as many facets of the adult world.  It had been charming, even arousing, as he had thought over and over what pairing their wits would lead to.  She had been fairer of frame than he was usually into and more childish than she might have been worth but her ferocity stoked something in him few had ignited.  She had been a mage worthy of his esteem, but she had chosen another man.  Even in his dying moments as he set himself ablaze, he had drank her lies about wanting him in another life despite knowing her mind was bound heart and soul.

 

"Archer."  He whispered to the night.  If that white haired cocky son of a bitch was here shouldn't that mean Rin might be too?  In this dynamic Shirou should be a variant not a "Master" so the only one capable of wielding any version of that meddlesome asshole should be her.  Pondering it, lost in thought, he didn't even notice Caster come up beside him until the smell of fresh tabac wafted his way.

 

"What will you do little puppy if she is here?" He takes a drag and then blows out his nose staring at the same nothingness. "Will you abandon your bonded for a fairy tale romance you probably still have no chance making work beyond the short term?"

 

"And hand her over to you?  That girl doesn't deserve that." He replies with half hearted disgust laced with uncertainty he knew Caster wouldn't miss. 

 

"Not very convincing you know. I'm surprised the issue didn't come up as soon as you were verbally slapped with it and then faced with its confirmed visual representation." Caster tapped off the ash before bringing the end to his lips and sucking in the acrid taste. 

 

"Because I hadn't thought about her or it since that war ended.  What was the point if she was dead and gone let alone in love with another ...person."

 

Caster smiled at that but said nothing. They just stood there in silence until the sun began to bleed onto the horizon. 

 

"Think about it little brother.  I wouldn't be surprised if your suspicion is true.  I sense too much familiar magic to dismiss the thought." Then he burned the butt and walked inside.

 

Sighing heavily, Cú's eyebrow twitched at Casters final words. 

 

"Oh and take her to work in the morning.Bonding is good for you two."

 

"Fucking Druid."

 

——————————

 

Clearly he had been wrong in thinking he could make it back with coffee before she woke up. 

 

"What do you mean she left already!" Cú growled at Caster who remained unphased as he drank from the cup she had left behind. 

 

"Like I said. Midge woke her up and she barely had time for two words before heading out the door. I thought you would be out there waiting like the obedient mutt you are supposed to be but clearly you went sniffing where you weren't supposed to."

 

Caster gave him a knowing, piercing look suggestive of conversations previously mentioned and all Cú could do was stare back wide eyed until his senses returned.

 

"You pompous ass!"

 

"Really? I make coffee for her EVERY MORNING and you haven't done a damn thing.  The night after we bring up...things...you suddenly decide to attempt to beat me to the punch.  That screams of ulterior motives my dear Lancer."

 

Setting his jaw he just stared back.  He couldn't refute what Caster was saying, but he also refused to admit he still had attachments to a girl the same age as his dead son.  Staring the dismissive Magi down, he growled, turned, and left as Caster shook his head and Smolz stabbed the Druid in the cheek with his lance.

 

"Meddlesome Druid."

 

"Demon spawn."

 

—————————

 

Walking outside, I couldn't help but feel colder as I realized Cú wasn't out there waiting in the empty hallway.  Bunching my shoulders as I shoved my hands in my pockets, I began the walk to work unaware of the two iridescent eyes and fluffy tail that rounded the corner in a hurry after me.  I had enough time to stop by the park since I didn't have to get coffee on the way in. 

 

As I came upon the park in the middle of a large round-a-bout, I was pleased to see my favorite bench looking out over the shopping district was free.  Obeying all traffic laws, I jogged over and sat down.  I loved people watching and taking in nature.  It changed my whole mindset on the day.  Sitting here I felt

attached enough to humanity that I didn't feel alone without having the disappointment of them opening their mouths and ruining everything. 

 

As my mind began to wander, I suddenly felt four small feet jump up next to me before the front two came to rest on my thighs.  Though initially I was startled, the iridescent eyes that carried the depth of time itself in their ever subtly changing color calmed me. 

 

"Well hello there little one.  Are you lost?"  I reached up to pet it's soft head only to realize I had no idea what this creature was.  An odd combination of long haired rabbit and miniature dog, the creature nuzzled my jeans affectionately before curling up in my lap.  "Affectionate are we?  Guess that means you belong to someone huh?"

 

That's when I noticed two feet step into my vision in front of me and I looked up into the dazzling blue eyes of Arthur. 

 

"I see you found my dear Fou." 

 

Smiling, he reached down and took the creatures scruff before lifting it out of my lap as it...gave the disapproving emoji face?  Blinking several times at the irrational human reaction, I was drawn back to Arthur's eyes as he placed the creature down and came to sit beside me.

 

"Good morning Arthur.  Are you taking your pet for a stroll?"

 

I didn't understand the hearty laugh he gave or the disapproving look directed at him by the small creature seated at his feet, but the King didn't seem mad so, I let sleeping dogs lie. 

 

"You could say that.  He got away from me you see, but now I realize he was after something better than my company."  Taking my hand gently he raised it to his lips and kissed it, his eyes never leaving mine. "And what brings you out today my lady? Especially out alone?"

 

Damn that Lancer.  "I have to go to work.  Can't keep a roof over my head if I don't pay for it." I smile and rise. It's just down the street but I'm pressed for time so, it was a pleasure seeing you.  I hope you enjoy the rest of your day." That's when I try to pull my hand away but Arthur rises and tucks it under his arm.

 

"It wouldn't do for me not to escort you my lady. Please, lead the way." 

 

There was no way to say no.  He left no room for it. 

 

"I guess that would be alright." I blush.

 

"Good.  After you then."

 

—————————

 

A day late and a dollar short.The perfect line to wrap up what was turning into an epic failure.Though Cú didn't sense she was in any danger via their link, he was concerned as to why he lost her scent the minute he stepped out of the house.Not having any mana of her own, the only thing he could accurately go by was the remnants of the signature her void left behind.The issue here was the void...was essentially voided.It's was if someone or something had swept away the traces of mana effectively erasing her from existence. 

 

"Fucking hell.I won't hear the end of this." Then setting off in the direction of greatest void, because the extreme absence of something is in and of itself something, he followed the almost indiscernible trail of her absence. 

 

————————

 

Other than turning in the prototypes for my most recent submissions, there was very little I got done today. I couldn't let go of the fact that I had gotten stood up by Cú for a work date I didn't even ask for.Groaning into my bent arms I took a deep breath and doodled my way to the end of the day when I put in my earbuds and headed home. 

 

If I had been a little more aware and a little less obsessed, I would have sensed the danger that waited for me outside as I exited the building and walked a few steps onto the sidewalk.

 

"Well hello my dear. How was work?" 

 

My head shot up and my eyes went wide as a voice clear as day resounded in my head. 

 

"The King regrets not being able to pick you up, but he did send an escort."

 

My eyes darted around and found a woman diagonal to me leaning with her arms crossed against a light post.As soon as we made eye contact she moved away from the pole and began walking towards me.She was taller then me dressed in royal blues and greys with blond hair in a severe bun and a face rigid as ice.

 

"Her name is Altria.She is Arthur's...lancer.She will escort you where you need to go.I am sure you too will get along swimmingly."

 

Shivers ran down my body with each step closer.There was something about her that was wrong.Something that told me to run.Something...

 

That's when Drive ft Delilah Montagu came through my earbuds and my mind began to scream it.

 

I can't go fast enough

To break free from the bond of your love

And I ain't been strong enough

To let go and let gone

I can't see clear enough

To look past the dust you left behind

And I can't get high enough

To forget why I cry (I cry, I cry)

So I'll drive

Ten thousand miles into the dead of night

Till I run out of love for you, baby

Till I've got no more love for you, baby

Oh, I'll drive

Ten thousand miles into the endless sky

Till I run out of love for you, baby

Till I've got no more love for you, baby

 

I will drive all night

I will drive all night

Leave it all behind

I will drive all night

I will drive all night

I will drive all night

Leave it all behind

I will drive all night

I will drive all night

 

I paint a silhouette (I paint a silhouette)

In the shadow of every headlight

I turn up my radio (I turn up my radio)

But I can't turn off my mind

Somehow you get to me (somehow you get to me)

It don't matter the distance I go

All love is dead to me (dead to me)

But I believe in ghosts

So I'll drive

Ten thousand miles into the dead of night

Till I run out of love for you, baby

Till I've got no more love for you, baby

Oh, I'll drive

Ten thousand miles into the endless sky

Till I run out of love for you, baby

Till I've got no more love for you, baby

 

The woman called Altria was close.12 feet....6 feet...

 

Then a deep guttural engine blared through the night as a dark blue clad figure drove up at incredible speed on a monstrous motorcycle before circling me tightly as his front wheel stopped on a dime at my feet as his back spun around to land parallel to me.

 

"Get on." Cú's voice...or was it...barked in my head. 

 

Frozen, I watched him as the woman in the corner of my eye launched towards us as I continued to search the helmeted man for answers. She was fast, but not fast enough.Grabbing me unceremoniously by the front, the driver yanked me effortlessly up and onto the back of the bike before the back tire slid sidewise as it fought for grip and peeling off.

 

Fearing for my life, I wrapped my arms around him tightly as my face pressed against his back.Like Cú, he smelled of nature but he also had the musk of leather with a metallic tang. 

 

"Boy that old man is going to be jealous. Just keep holding on tight little lady.I'll make sure you get home safe.Just as soon as I lose this self righteous bitch."

 

Gripping his dark blue moto jacket, I dared a look back only to see what could only be described as unfathomable. Chasing us, and gaining slightly, was the woman known as Altria mounted on a silver steed brandishing a spear. 

 

"Don't worry princess, Beast won't lose this hunt. Just follow what I do and hold on." Then he sunk down lower on the bike and I followed suit as we sped off into the city of artificial light.


End file.
